Forks
by staceleo
Summary: Revised. Bella returns home to settle in Forks determined to start living her life after attempting to end an engagement from an unsuitable man. She discovers, through friends and romantic suitors, just what kind of woman she wants to become.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Here is the new and approved Forks! There has been some dialogue changes for you previous readers and it will be followed in by a mini chapter starring…you'll just have to wait and see! **

**Welcome to all new readers and I hope you enjoy.**

**Reviews and recommendations are much appreciated! Thank you!**

Chapter 1: HOME

"Hey, Izzy. Pretty lady."

Good god, it's only been one day. My flight had just gotten in last night and I already had the idiot, Mike Newton, heavy breathing in my ear. I leaned closer into my laptop to get away from him. Honestly, all I wanted was a hot cup of coffee and some free Wi-Fi. I must have forgotten that Forks is the land that time forgot and the diner would definitely not have the internet connection that I craved. It would have a random selection of idiots parading interrupting my attempt at relaxing and regrouping. Mike Newton being the most random and idiotic of them all inhabiting the diner this day.

At least the coffee was strong. I was grumpy after getting no sleep the night before. It was so quiet in the little room at my father's house, a little room that hadn't changed a bit, since I ran away from Forks after graduation. I needed the sounds of beeping taxis, deafening sirens, and drunks yelling outside of my apartment to lull me to sleep. I also needed the members of New Kids on the Block to stop with their penetrating boy band stares. It was creepy and made me severely question my early musical taste. I had a feeling that since I moved back I would never get a restful night's sleep again. To make matters worse, Mike Newton was practically sitting in my lap, yammering away at something I wasn't paying attention to. "It will be simple, Izzy. Lots of balls. You know soccer, basketball, base…"

_What? Balls? _I had an intense desire to kick Michael in the balls and send him on his way. Thanks for the inspiration there, Mikey. Of course, Mike would figure that to be a come on. He was WAY too close. Mike reeked of Stetson cologne. I felt a small amount of pity for Mike, balding with a rounded beer belly and wearing a track suit. Time had not been kind. Make that a very small amount of pity, because he was annoying as hell.

He kept talking, "When the Chief said you were coming home, it was like fate. Newton's Sporting Goods needs a professional flyer and the two of us needed to reconnect."

"Listen, Mike. I will be happy to help your parents with the…"

Mike, obviously never learned about personal space, because just like in high school he wouldn't leave me alone. Mike stuck a finger to my lips and leered at me, "Shh…Izzy."

Before I got a chance to pour my coffee over his head, a twinkling voice interrupted, "Bella! Bella! Bella! I missed you! I need hugs!"

Sprightly Alice, my former best friend, bounded in and shoved Mike out of her way. For someone so petite, I had forgotten how freakishly strong she was. Alice then grabbed me into a hug that was so tight that I gasped for breath. It had been years since I had seen her, but she still acted like me had just hung out at the bleachers at our school the day before.

"My best friend is back! I missed you so very much!" She stepped back and held my shoulders to get a good look.

"Wait...I...need to talk to..." Mike tried to tell Alice. The small woman just pushed him hard.

"Mike, get out of here. That guy cannot take a hint, Bella! He hasn't changed a bi, since high school. Look at you, finally listening to my advice. Those are some nice curves," she remarked appreciatively. She took in my fitted black V-neck sweater and charcoal pants, and then smiled. She proceeded to pull the back of my sweater to inspect the label. "Banana Republic is a pretty good choice. However, now that you're back, I'm getting you into some designer clothes."

I laughed looking at her tight yellow dress. "That would be very unnecessary. Thanks anyway. Also, don't you think your dress is a little much for Forks?"

"L.A.M.B., baby."

"Ahh, I don't know about crazy Al at the gas station, but Gwen Stefani would approve," I said.

"Bella, she would LOVE it. I make her stuff look good." She began to fluff her dark, pixie hair.

Mike grabbed my arm. "Umm…Izzy…we were discussing…"

Alice shot him a dirty look. "Get out of here, Mike. Wedding plans must be discussed. Does Jasper need to help you?"

I had made myself forgot about Alice's event of the century. I had more on my mind to read her countless emails concerning the subject. I heard incoherent sounds next to Alice and finally noticed Alice's companion. Jasper, Alice's fiancé, stood behind her stoically. I wasn't surprised that I didn't see him. Hurricane Alice dwarfed all that was around her. Jasper stepped up to Mike and mumbled something that I couldn't catch. Mike held up his hands and backed away.

Jasper then looked at me, shaking his blond curls, and mumbled again.

"What?" I asked.

"Hi-uh…I…uh…umm…uh, Bell…uh."

"Hey there, Jasper." Oh no. He was still doing the unintelligible accent. Jasper had this incoherent southern accent that was impossible to understand. The funny thing was, Jasper and his sister, Rosalie had been born and raised in Forks. I was pretty sure that they had never crossed the Mason-Dixon Line. It was going to be a long afternoon.

Alice pulled me back into my seat, sat next to me and asked, "Bella, why did he call you Izzy? Oh never mind, he was wearing velour. He's so not important. What is important is that you are now my Maid of Honor! Congratulations!"

"Wait a second here, that's Rosalie's job!" I looked at Jasper for help. I wanted the least possible to do for the wedding. I was planning on getting drunk, getting stuffed into a hideous couture dress and trying to stand upright next to Alice without out having a sneezing fit from the evil flowers she had chosen for the bouquet.

Jasper mumbled, "I…uh huh ...jknngknfgfgnfkgnfkngknjnj."

"What?" I asked. I couldn't understand a damn thing coming out of his mouth. This was frustrating.

Jasper replied with absolutely no accent, "Emmett and Rosie broke up. Alice is mad at Rosie. She was fired. You've been moved up to the number one position."

Why couldn't he always talk like that?

"Listen, Alice. I love you. But it's one thing being a bridesmaid. Being a Maid of Honor takes a lot of work. I have so much to do with moving into the apartment and setting up my design business. I just don't want to let you down."

"You won't! We'll help you with everything! Right, Jazzy?" Alice stated doing her excited twitching.

"Uh huh, darlin'," Jasper replied. Oh joy. The accent's back.

"I guess. If I have to," I finally relented unenthusiastically, as Alice nearly knocked me over with a bear hug.

She flashed me a grin and started her excited wiggling again. "Great! It all starts tonight at the engagement party Emmett is throwing for us at the new club in Forks, you know, at the Cannery? We'll pick you up promptly at nine. Then tomorrow night, dinner at my parent's house. Esme and Carlisle miss you so much! You and Edward have so much to discuss."

"Excuse me, Edward?" I asked with an edge to my voice.

"Of course, you silly girl, he's the best man and you two need to coordinate! Do you still have a crush on him? I always thought the two of you would be perfect together! We could be sisters! Oh fun!" She was so excited by this thought she started bouncing in her chair. She appeared to be having a seizure, but that was just her excited movements. Jasper was smirking next to her.

"No," I said. "Simmer down there, lady. No crushes for this girl. I am planning for flying solo for a while. I've been over that nonsense about your brother for years."

Just the mere mention of him reminded me of his green eyes, wild copper hair, and beautiful face. I just rolled my eyes. If I wasn't running away from Baltimore, Edward Cullen would have made me run to the airport and take the next flight back to Charm City.


	2. Mini Chapter 1

**AN: Your first mini chapter of Forks starring…Mike. A high school Mike, who is about as offensive as present day Mike is. Enjoy!**

Forks Mini Chapter 1

When Mike Stalked Bella: Mike's Story

"I think she might be hot," I announced, as I punched my Eric in the shoulder.

Eric Yorkie, my brother from an Asian mother, barely glanced up at me as he shoved his algebra book in his locker. "I really hate Mr. Scott. Who gives ten pages of homework on a Friday? A masochist does, that's who."

"Whoa, what's a masochist? Can you catch it?" I asked, but didn't wait for Eric to explain. Obviously, Eric didn't clearly hear what I said about the girl that was now walking through the halls of our school today. Actually, she was tripping through the halls. Damn, she was clumsy. "Never mind, about the maso... Whatever, man, so what do you think about the new girl?"

"You mean Chief Swan's daughter, right? It's Bella?" Eric was way too cool about all this.

"That's her name? I was just calling her 'B'."

"For Bella, because that's her name," Eric stated.

I slung an arm over his shoulder. "No, 'B' as in her cup size, which of course is only a guess. She keeps wearing those gigantic shirts of her dad's, so it's hard to tell. I really hope it isn't an 'A', because that would be a bummer."

"No wonder you can't get a girlfriend." I frowned at Eric's comment. He didn't have a lady either.

"You would think this Lettermen Jacket would drive all the ladies to my Mike magic."

"Mike, they gave it to you for table tennis. it's not the same as football," Eric laughed.

I sneered at him, "Hundreds of Chinese would disagree."

"You mean billions. You do know that the country of China is gigantic."

"I'm sorry to offend you about your people," I apologized stuffing a piece of gum into my mouth. I spied 'B' walking to her locker wearing a large, red plaid flannel next to quiet Angela Webber. Hmm, she might be a nerd. The question is will I be willing to slum it a little to get in her pants. She really had a pretty...

An angry Eric stepped in front of me blocking me from my future girl. "I'm Japanese! Not everyone who's Asian is from the same place. Were you born under a rock?"

"Asian, Japan, Rice. I got it. Hey, so Angela is showing 'B' around? Could she introduce us?"

I watched as tried to open in the lock of her locker and was getting frustrated. 'B' was biting her lip, which made me wonder what else she liked to bite. Getting her to go mini golf with me was going to be a breeze.

Eric watched the two girls with me. "I can ask, but Angela hates you. Really hates you, like she prays in her dad's church that you'll be struck by lightning."

"That's a bit extreme." I never did anything to Angela. She was lucky if I gave her a wink in the cafeteria.

"Well you did call her Farty all of middle school. It wasn't her fault, you know." Eric had no sense of humor.

I smiled. "I forgot about that. It was funny."

"It was mean. You owe Ang an apology. You know what would be great. Apologize to Angela in front of Bella."

"I'll look like a chump."

"You already do. Listen, it wouldn't hurt to try and have a sensitive side." Eric started to move towards Angela and Bella's lockers, when he stopped quickly. "Forget it, The Cullen's have arrived."

He was right. Alice and her stuck up brothers, the emo redhead and the giant were heading straight to the object of my affection. Alice was wearing a tight little yellow dress that was going to be in my dreams all week. Then her boyfriend Jasper will be dream kicking my ass. I can't win.

"Maybe, it would be better to meet 'B' later." I should be brave and say hi. I am the heir to Newton's Sporting Goods, but unfortunately Edward and Emmett would enjoy making me cry. Emmett already stuffed me into a locker twice this week. I started walking with Eric towards the group. "I must say I like Alice's dress. It's nice and tight."

Eric nodded at me. "It has great cut for her body type and the color is fetching on her."

"You are so gay, Yorkie." I looked at 'B' and gave her a smile, which she returned shyly. I was so in! Then that smug Edward Cullen flashed her one of his make all the ladies swoon smiles while taking the books she was holding out of her hands. She was beaming up at him. I just can't win.


	3. Chapter 2

**AN: This chapter has been changed from the original, so I hope you enjoy. I am also posting the next mini chapter.**

**If you like Forks (and the revised version), please check out Ugly Duckling Bakery that is located under my profile page. It has the same feel as Fork and I am very proud of it so far. I have also started a sort of drabble called Daily Affirmation. I just want to warn to you, it's morphing into a Bella/Jasper. (I have no idea how it happened and I'm writing it!)**

**Please review. It really makes my day brighter! Thank you for reading!**

Chapter 2: DAYLIGHT (MATT & KIM)

I had finally escaped the clutches of Alice and her wedding planning as I pulled into the driveway at my old homestead. For two hours, I sat and listened to flower choices with Alice, tried to decipher Jasper's mumbles and drank too many cups of coffee. My butt was asleep on the hard plastic chair and all I wanted to do was to go home. Well go home and use the bathroom. I had five cups of coffee. I also wanted to check on my dad, Charlie. He had broken his ankle while attempting to take down a twelve year old shoplifter. Why my dad chased the kid fifteen blocks over a Slim Jim was a puzzling question, but Chief Swan followed the law. Even if the law ended up with him tripping over a curb and having to waddle around the house eating bags of pork rinds.

I hoped to talk my dad into maybe a healthier and not so disgusting snack choice, when I opened the back door into the kitchen. I saw him at the stove behind someone. But, oh no, he was not only standing there. Charlie had both hands cupping Sue Clearwater's ass and I felt myself feel nauseous as he licked her neck.

I dropped my laptop bag on the floor, covered my eyes and shouted, "Oh sweet baby Jesus!"

My thoughts screamed at me, _I'm blind…Oh shit. That is the last thing I'll ever see. Yep. Blinded forever…gross…blind…_

I felt two large hands grab my neck and begin to move in an awkward massage motion, as I struggled to get away. "It's alright Bells. Didn't your dad tell you that they are together? He told dad, he's in love with her. Billy's pissed!"

Jake. Ex best friend and ex boyfriend. Occasional stalker when drinking 40's with his boys on the Res. Those drunken phone calls were stuff of some good nights in college. I used to put him on speaker phone for my dorm mates. It went a little something like this: "_**Bell…er…a. I luvr you… so much. I…need …to buy…shut the fuck up, Paul! A pony…I like riding bare back." **_

Drunken Jacob Black, fun times, at least when drunk in college and in a different zone.

"Shit Jacob. Get off of me." I wiggled out of his grasp and turned to get a good look at him. I sighed. No shirt, grinning and flexing his muscles, wearing only a pair of cut-off acid wash jeans. It was all types of classy.

"Honestly, Jake. Haven't you outgrown the jorts? And please put on a shirt?" I asked with a frown.

"Jean shorts are a classic, Bella. I am also hot," He pouted.

"Sorry, Bella, I can't take him anywhere." A black tee shirt flew through the air and in waddled Leah Clearwater, nope Leah Black, Jacob's wife. She was seven months pregnant with twins and I felt sorry for her. Not about the twins, but the additional baby when you included Jake.

I gave her a big hug. "I'm happy to see you, Leah. You look wonderful! Sorry about the yell. I was just surprised."

"No problem, Bella, I understand the shock. Charlie, you old fool, you could have given her a head's up." Leah shook her finger at my dad.

"I know. I'm sorry, Bells," Charlie had thankfully put some distance between himself and Sue. "I just didn't know how you would handle it. I know you're waiting for your mom and I to get back together."

"Char…Dad, I was eight. That was sixteen years ago. After Renee married Phil, you know, nine years ago, I decided not to hold my breath," I replied.

"I guessed wrong, huh? Alright, champ. Sue and I are testing this out, but you have to be okay with it."

"I'm good, Dad. You and Sue look happy, then so am I. Is Sue moving in?" I asked.

"Yes. If that's…"

"Of course, don't worry about me. My apartment's ready whenever I want to move in. I'll be out of your hair." I smiled at Sue and she beamed back at me. After what I just saw I wanted to get far away from the amorous couple.

Jacob piped in enthusiastically, "The boys and I are moving you in."

Oh goody.

"Well Alice and the gang are helping, too." I would rather have Alice standing around criticizing my furniture, than Jacob breaking it.

"I hate them," Jacob sneered.

"I know." I smiled at him sweetly.

"Forget it. I'll find something better to do."

Leah smiled at him. "Like go in the other room and rub your pregnant wife's feet?"

"Aww, come on Leah."

"Do it," She sharply said. Jacob shuffled behind her with his tail between his legs. They headed into the living room to sit on the worn, brown couch. Better Leah than me.

Sue quietly asked, "Will you join us for dinner?"

"Definitely, that sounds fantastic. I'll be going out with Alice afterwards. We're are supposed to going to that new club at the cannery tonight. Have you heard anything about it? It seems to be an odd location."

"Take your mace. Do you need more?" Charlie asked.

"I'm set, but you are making me a bit worried now, Dad."

"If Alice is bringing Emmett, you'll be fine. Just remember your cell phone and call me if you're drinking and need a ride," Charlie demanded with authority. There is the dad I've missed. Then he eyes softened and he said delicately, "Oh Bella…Garrett called."

"What did he want?" I asked as I pictured his bottomless blue eyes, dark hair, defined muscles, lopsided sex smile…Shake it off Swan!

"He wants to come to Forks. The boy said he wants to talk. I told him to come on over. I had just finished cleaning my shotgun." Charlie smirked at me.

"Thanks Daddy."

"Anything for my kid, you know that." He winked at me.

It was a relief. I didn't want to worry about my "on a break" fiancé tonight. I just wanted to relax and pretend everything was going to be okay.


	4. Mini Chapter 2

**AN: It's an Alice POV. This is how Alice met Bella. **

**Thanks for reading!**

Forks Mini Chapter 2

If the Converse Sneaker Fits: A Tale of the All Knowing, All Fashionable Mary Alice

To tell the truth, the first thing I noticed about the girl was her shoes. They were those old school sneakers that early basketball players and skater boys like to wear. They were a dingy purple that had scuff marks and little drawings of tulips and daisies drawn in by ball point pen. I see her now, as we sit in English Comp with her feet propped up on her chair as she draws on those horrible sneakers. Her drawings surprise me, because they are quite good. Angela Webber pushes her slipping glasses up her nose and leans over to whisper in the girl's ear. The two of them start to giggle and Angela pointed at Mike Newton. He was rapping again. I think Mike, believes he's the next Busta Rhymes. I would feel bad for the mocking he receives, but honestly he is a really terrible person.

I watch as the girl whispered something else to Angela and they gave each other big grins. It would be an accurate something like jealously when watching them. The girl has only been here for a day and she made a bosom friend. It was like when I watched Anne of Green Gables and yearned to be a Diana to my own Anne. I was Diana, obviously due to her superior wardrobe. The closest thing I had to that was Jasper's sister, Rosalie. Which to be accurate was more being bossed around by Rosalie and having to watch her mock our fellow students.

"I think she would be quite pretty in some new clothes and a few highlights," I pointed out to Jasper. He mumbled something in return that even I couldn't decipher. He's hasn't worn his retainer in years, but for some reason he still has issues sounding clear. "Baby, speak a little clearer."

"I'm sorry about that darlin'." Jasper looked sheepish as he smiled at me. "What girl are you itchin' to improve?"

"It's the brunette over there who's sitting with Angela Webber. The two of them would be a makeover coup!" I got excited with the possibilities of nail polish, brightly colored heels and the elusive girl talk.

"You aren't going to make friends with those girls if you are just going to criticize their clothes. I'm not tryin' to be mean to you, Alice, but if you want to do that you might as well bring over Rosalie and really ruin their day. Angela is already nervous around you, because of your friendship with Rosalie. She told poor Angela just yesterday that she was so ugly that only a junk year dog would date her. That's just all type of cold hearted meanness. I have a feeling Chief Swan's daughter has already been warned away from the two of you."

"She's the Chief's daughter? I thought she was in a cult with her hippy mother?" I asked.

"That's one of those infamous Fork rumors."

"Well it's good to know that she isn't in a cult." I started twisting my hands in worry. "I'm a mean person."

Jasper grabbed my hands and made them stop moving. "Of course, I know that. I know you. The gossip in this town includes you, because of your association with Rose. I know you want to be their friend, you just have to show them the sweet girl I love."

The bell rung to indicate lunch was to begin and Jasper and I followed the girls out into the hall. The headed straight to the lockers and I stopped and watched Chief's Swan's daughter struggle with her locker combination. I was about to head over and offer my help when a large hand loomed over my head and rubbed it hard. Emmett boomed, "What ya staring at, mouse?"

As my other brother, Edward looked on, I frowned at Emmett and I answered, "The new girl over there."

"Rosie's been calling her Paul Bunyan and Babe the Big Blue Ox. I thought the little chick was going to punch her in the stomach." Emmett shrugged nonchalantly. He was used to people wishing that they could punch her.

"Rosalie's a jerk," I stated. Realizing what I said I threw a hand over my mouth. I never criticized Rosalie. She had her spies all over school.

"I think it's about time somebody stood up to Rosalie," Edward said soothingly, as Jasper nodded in agreement. "Isabella looks shy, but I think there's some fire in her."

I smiled at the boys. "Her name's Isabella? That's really pretty."

"I think so," Edward agreed. "Maybe, we should introduce ourselves?"

It was a group consensus to head over and we were thankful that Rosalie hadn't arrived yet. Isabella and Angela turned at our approach giving us wary looks. I felt nervous, but tried to sound brave as I in my best bubbly voice announced, "Hi! I have been meaning to introduce myself to you all morning! I'm Alice Cullen and these boys are: Edward, Emmett and my Jazzy."

Bella gave Angela an odd look before she stated, "Hey. I'm Paul Bunyan. I think you've already met my logging coworker John Henry."

Angela snickered quietly and I looked on confused. "What are you talking about?"

"Isabella was making an American folk tale joke. That was really good," Edward said with a laugh. Then he flashed one of his legendary, in his own head, smiles that make the girl swoon. "Would like you ladies like to join us for lunch?"

"It's Bella, not Isabella. I'm not some fancy, pretentious girl that wants a name to match." Isabella, no Bella gave our group a calculate look. "Will that Blonde Snark Monster be eating with you today?"

Emmett looked at her quizzically, "My Rosie? She always sits with us. Don't worry about it, little monkey, I'll protect you little cuties!"

"I think Angela and I will pass on the lunch. The thought of suffering through "your Rosie", is making me lose my appetite. Is that okay, Ang?" Bella asked Angela, who nodded in agreement. I really liked this girl! She looked back at Emmett. "Unless you are a great actor, you seem pretty cool, why are you with that beast?"

"Good sex, monkey." Emmett was truthful to a fault.

"You should really think higher of yourself then settling for that, but that's you choice." Bella frowned at him, but at a turn of a switch gave all of us a smile. "You all have a great lunch. Angela said there are hamburgers today and I'm pretty hungry."

Bella and Angela turned to walk to the cafeteria when I shouted, "Wait, I want to eat with the two of you! I want to talk about cute boys, stupid movies and I really want a hamburger! Rosalie only lets me eat salads and I am so hungry! Please don't make me sit with her!"

I was panicked, because I was so close to the possibility of real friendships. I yearned to spill my innermost secrets and feel that I was an okay person for once. Bella grabbed my hand and squeezed. "You don't have to sit with her, okay? You sit with us and we can talk...umm...Meg Ryan movies?"

I gave her a beaming smile, "Thank you! What about you guys?"

Jasper gave me a kiss on the head, which was an automatic yes. While Edward, a little too quickly, said, "I'm in!"

"I really want to, but...she's my girlfriend. Let me work on her alright?" Emmett was too optimistic for his own good. "I'll hang with you later. Okay?"

He looked so morose that I wanted to give him some reassurance that we weren't angry, but before I could Bella did something unexpected. She gave him a quick hug, which by the look on her face surprised her too, and said, "You're a good guy it seems, big man, just keep remembering that."

Emmett's face lit up like a Christmas tree. "Well then let's all head to the grub! Hey, monkey, I am going to be sending you secret messages with my eyes!"

Bella gave a laugh, as Edward grabbed her books. She looked at him in shock. "give me my books back!"

"A gentleman always carries a lady's books," Edward tried to give her that smile again. What was he up to?

Angela dropped her large handful on top of Bella's that Edward was holding. "Then here's mine, too.

Bella gave Angela a huge smile and the two of them nodded at me. "Here you go, Jazz!"

Bella stepped backwards to walk with me and we gave each other timid smiles. "So your boyfriend's name is Jazz?"

"Jasper. I just call him that."

"Oh well now, that makes sense. I just thought his parents were crazy jazz fans." Bella grinned at me.

"Nope, that nickname is all on me." I looked at her timidly and stated, "I really like the drawings on your shoes. I like to draw, but I'm not that good."

"I bet you're just being hard on yourself. I always hate the stuff I do. Hey, would you like to come over after school and draw with me outside? There's actually sun today!"

"Yeah, I would really like that." I beamed, because I really liked the idea of drawing with her. For the first time, in a long time, I felt truly happy.


	5. Chapter 3

**AN: Hi again, everyone! Thank you so much for reading and you reviews have made me so happy! The mini chapter is immediately after this one and it stars my favorite!**

**Quick note about Daily Affirmations and Ugly Duckling Bakery. Daily Affirmations will hopefully have two chapters up tomorrow and I am working on the bext Ugly Duckling Bakery Chapter. Hopefully by Friday, Monday at the latest. (Those chapters are LONG!)**

**Patience and In Bold Print: I am working on outlines for the next chapters. I need more brain power for those stories. **

Chapter 3: IN DA CLUB (50 CENT)

Dinner was finally over and I got ready in my little room. I stroked the purple comforter that Charlie proudly bought me and looked over at my random mix CDs from my youth. It was an odd mix of indie rock, jazz and hardcore rap. I then peered at the old flannels that were overflowing out of my closet. Oh yeah, they were off to goodwill. This room was the fortress of solitude of my formative years. It was a wonder that I turned out so well.

The meal had been a pleasant experience. Jacob sulked which was funny. Leah bossed him around which was funnier. I was also impressed by Sue's cooking skills, her fish stew was excellent. Most importantly, Charlie was happy.

I slid into the strapless black dress that, hopefully, Alice would approve of. My only concern was that Alice would get too excited and grab my boobs, like the last time I wore a dress. It was uncomfortable and Jasper enjoyed the scene a little too much. I then grabbed my strappy sandals and sat on the bed to put them on. I looked up and caught my reflection in the full length mirror on my wall. I was way too dressed up for a night out in Forks. I hoped I wasn't unintentionally doing it for Edward Cullen. Yes, he was gorgeous. Yet, he was also very pissy and possibly gay. I had a lot of gay male friends in art school, so I had fabulous gaydar. Sure he had hooked up with a lot of girls in school, but one could never truly tell with these things.

No. I refuse to think about Edward "Cranky Pants" Cullen. Maybe I would think about Emmett instead. Alice and Edward's big brother was fun. Always jovial, he made a party wherever he went. I wasn't sure what happened between him and Rosalie. Alice was too distracted with wedding plans to give me the whole scoop. I did know that if Rosalie caught me flirting with Emmett, she would knife me. That Rosie had a temper, yes indeed. That girl tried to make my life in high school miserable. Emmett should be glad to be rid of her.

As I finished up, the door bell rang. I skipped down the stairs as Charlie opened the door to Alice, Jasper and Emmett. I had to take a double take when looking at Alice's outfit. Her shirt and pants were so tight that they looked painted on. As she reached to pull me into a hug, I realized she was naked. Her clothes were actually painted on. Whoa.

"Bella, don't you love it? After we left you at the diner, I had a local artist come over and create this one of a kind masterpiece for me! And look at you, you little sex kitten! You are so cute!" She then grabbed both of my breasts. " So perky!"

I glanced at the wide eyed gazes of Emmett and Jasper. Charlie was covering his face with his hands. I gently removed Alice's hands from my breasts.

"Umm…thanks, Alice. Hey there, Emmett. How's hanging?" I smiled.

He came over, picked me up and gave me a lingering kiss on the neck. "Hey sweet stuff, as you can probably see its hanging big and stiff. Are you ready to dance with me, Monkey? Hey weren't you supposed to fall down the stairs? Never mind. You're my date tonight."

"What about Rosalie?" I asked.

"I don't discuss the tramp. I will discuss you and me. We are going to look hot out on the dance floor!"

I turned to my dad to say good-bye, but noticed he was too busy ogling Alice. No wonder he was so quiet. I was surprised he didn't try to arrest her for indecent exposure?

After we got into the stretch limo Alice acquired for the ten minute drive to the cannery, I asked where Edward was.

"Ed is meeting us there. He wanted to finish reading some medical shit," Emmett laughed.

"That's good. He likes being a doctor?" I asked. Why did I bring him up?

"Yes," said Alice. "I am so happy for him."

Emmett just rolled his eyes and preceded to hand me a tumbler of vodka. That charmer was trying to get me drunk.

When we arrived, the dark building was filled with people and pulsating music. Alice exclaimed, "It's not only an engagement party, but a welcome home for you!"

Crap. "Thanks Alice. You shouldn't have. Really you shouldn't have."

"You aren't mad?"

I shook my head in the negative, which was a lie, and squeezed her hand. Alice's brows furrowed and she exclaimed, "I'm so confused."

I glanced over at the bar to see how long the wait was and noticed Edward staring at me. I couldn't figure out if it was supposed to be a sexy, penetrating gaze or if he was glowering at me. With Edward it was hard to tell. He was wearing a fitted blue sweater, dark jeans and running his fingers through his copper hair. It was intoxicating, _Stop it!_ I said to myself as I pinched my arm.

Luckily, Emmett broke our staring contest. "What the hell is that ass drinking? A Tom Collins? What is he 109? I'm getting us real drinks, m'lady. Tequila shots for everybody! I will particularly enjoy licking salt off you and sucking out a lemon, Miss Bella. You get yourself ready, girl!"

As Emmett approached the bar, Edward got up and quickly headed towards me. I wasn't ready for this. I needed tequila. Luckily, a timid voice said, "Bella?"

Yay! It was Angela to the rescue. She and her boyfriend, Ben had saved me from an awkward conversation with Mr. Cullen. I had missed Angela. She was my first friend in Forks and my closest. Our emails, when I was away, could win world records for length. Just seeing Angela again made my return to Forks somewhat worth it.

Edward just stood there and waited, as more of my old friends joined Angela to say hello. Emmett returned with plenty of drinks and Edward just glared tapping his foot with his arms folded across his chest. He seemed to be only staring at me which was uncomfortable. When others in the group tried to strike up a conversation he's answers were short and rude. Edward might need a personality transplant.

After a couple of drinks, Emmett pulled me to the dance floor. I went with him happily. Even though Emmett was pretty handsy, I didn't care, because I was pretty drunk. Liquor made me a relaxed girl. I glanced back at Edward glaring at me, or was he glaring at Emmett? No, he was definitely glaring at Emmett caressing my bottom. I started giggling, because it felt good.

A look of determination crossed Edward's face and he stalked over to us. "Look Emmett, 'I'm cutting in," Edward demanded.

"Suck it, Ed. My date. My dance." Emmett wiggled his eyebrows at his brother.

"No, Emmett. I'll dance with him. We'll do the next one." I smiled up at him.

"Fine, but only one, nerd," Emmett growled at his younger brother.

Edward grabbed my waist and pulled me close. The feeling of his hands on my waist felt good. I was most definitely drunk. "Listen, Bella. Rosalie wouldn't miss being at the club tonight for the world. She'll be here any…"

"Why do you care, Edward?" I asked.

"I like your face. I wouldn't appreciate her maiming it," He said, looking into my eyes. I was staring into his eyes, too. Trying to figure out if he was also drunk.

"Are we talking about my face? Are you drunk? 'Cause, I am and…"

"She's here," He announced, as he tightened his grasp around my body and pulled me closer to him. He put his lips to mine and nibbled on my lower lip. _No. No. It's Edward. Yum. No. No. No. Nice. _

Edward's mouth pressed harder into mine and his body pushed closer. His long fingers traveled lower grasping my bottom and squeezing gently. This is when I realized two things. I was confused and with Edward holding me this closely that he was absolutely, without the shadow of a doubt, not gay.


	6. Mini Chapter 3

**AN: I love Emmett. High School Emmett has some issues. (Actually, so does grown up Emmett. Hmm.)**

**Enjoy and let me know what you think!**

Forks Mini Chapter 3

Sometimes it Doesn't Pay Being a Playa: A Daddy Macking He Man POV (Emmett)

It should have been a fuck awesome day. The kind of day where, if this was a music video, I would be laid back in my pimp mobile with the car jumping and a bunch of bikini wearing hotties doing the booty shake all around me. Unfortunately, my hood is Forks not Compton and I have to settle that the sun was out today. That shit never happens!

Also, I had a kick ass conversation with that tool Newton about Biggie before I stuffed his squealing ass in his locker. Then I got a C on the bong I made in pottery class. I think Teach got confused, because she was blabbering on something about it needing a handle. I wasn't paying attention, because she was leaning over and her boobs were like right there. Aww shit, I'm a growing boy and I have to stare at big boobies. It's just against nature like Ed not acting like a chick.

The perfect day continued at lunch, because I sat in front a large plate of greatness. It was tater tots, fuck awesome tater tots. The cafeteria should have these every day, because a day without those mouth size potatoes is not a good day. Sure I was stuck sitting with Rosie and her bitchy buddies, Lauren and Jessica, but that was the amazing power of the tot! It makes you not care! Usually, I care about nothing, but Rosie had to open her big mouth. "It's just stupid, Emmett. They are just falling over themselves about that ugly lumberjack and the nerd. Alice won't even answer my phone calls. You need to get control over your sister, Emmett. What game is she playing? If this is Alice's way of getting back at me for telling her that her face looked fat, then she has another thing coming! Plus, the way Alice inhaling that pizza then she's making her face look even worse!"

"Uh huh." My woman was way too harsh. However, I learned from experience to just agree with whatever she said. Her Press On nails are a deadly weapon.

"It's that ugly girl's fault. I don't care if her daddy's the chief of police; I am still going to kick her ass!" Rosie sneered. My girl is sexy, but those faces she makes are very gross.

"Come on, Rose. She's a nice kid." I really should learn to keep my mouth shut, because Rosie looked like she was ready to cut off my balls.

I looked over to see all of my friends sitting several tables away from mine. Alice was, as usual, yapping away. I'm sure about some girly shit, like shoes or periods. Jasper was reading some book about Texas. Fuckin' nerd. Angela was whispering something in Bella's ear. Bella just sat there looking like a sad sack, ripping up a napkin. Ed just sat there staring at Bella like he was about to jump up and lick her. I wish he would just stop acting like a pussy and kiss her. His moody bitchiness was getting on my last nerve. Maybe, I could go over there and chat with Ed for a bit. Help him get closer to getting into little Swan's pants.

"I was thinking, Rosie, maybe I could go over and talk to Ed about some help with...umm...Spanish."

"You aren't taking Spanish, dumb ass," Rose snarled, slapping the back of my head. "Speaking of Eddie...did you handle your job, Lauren?"

I looked between Rosie and that nasty Lauren Malloy. Damn, I like my women in as little as possible, but when thinking about Lauren she should leave something to the imagination. Also, her boobs are lumpy. I bet she stuffs tissues in her bra.

"It wasn't easy, Rosalie! You should have warned me he was a prude," Lauren huffed. "I pulled him into the janitor's closet like you said and even though he protested, I went to work."

"Worked on what?" I asked. Ed wouldn't want Lauren's help with anything. She's dumber than me. Why would they study in a janitor's closet? I was feeling fucking confused.

"My mouth was working on his dick, Emmett. God, Rosalie is he always that stupid?" Lauren rolled her eyes. "Edward is pretty, but he was crying like a baby. He kept moaning, 'I can't do this to Bella.' and 'She'll never go out with me.' Then he started begging me to stop. Then he said, 'That feels good, Bella!' I mean, what the hell, he was imagining that dork when I was going down on him!"

"What the fuck did you do?" I growled. I looked over to the table where Ed and Bella sat, as he attempted to say something and she turned her body away from him.

Rose patted my hand, "Be quiet, Emmett, its better if you just sit there and look pretty. Did Lumberjack see him leave the closet, Jessica?"

"Of course, she did. I spilled the grape juice all over her horrible shirt. I offered to help her wash it out and the timing was perfect. He stumbled out all red faced and the buckle on his belt was undone. Nice mouth wipe, Lauren! It was the perfect final touch." Jessica, that ho, gave Lauren a thumbs up.

I stared at them all in shock. They were a group of evil, slut masterminds! "That was just vicious, Rosalie! That's my brother and my friend you're messing with. Lil Kim has nothing on you!"

"Whatever, Emmett, I was bored and it was funny." Rosalie sipped her water and then smirked. "You should be thanking me. Your brother has been so pent up having tree logging fantasies about the Lumberjack, that his pouting has been ridiculous. I was just giving him some release."

I love...no...I wanted to have a lot of sex with my Rosie, but this shit ain't gonna fly. I stood up and said, "Listen up, baby, if you're bored and need something to do, I suggest leaving Ed's dick out of it. In fact, I would highly suggest a dick right here you could suck. That should give you something positive to do!"

"Let me remind you of a little something, Emmett Cullen." Rosie stood and pointed a sharp nail into my chest. "I can make the lives of all your pals over at the dork table miserable. Do you want to be uncool like them?"

There was a time for a man to be a man, and not a whipped mouse. "They are my friends, Rosalie and I rather hang with them than a bunch of bitchy..."

"Before you saw another word, baby, think about this idea." Rosie reached down and grabbed one of my lovely tater tots and places it down her cleavage. "How about you be a good boy and come on a field trip with me and your plate of tater tots? In the dressing room next to the auditorium, there's a nice couch where I can lay naked and you can eat tater tots off of me. Then since you'll still be hungry there will be something else you can eat."

I felt my body get warm and my penis rise to occasion. Then I decided that tomorrow would be the perfect time to stand up to her. Yeah, tomorrow sounds great.

For the first time ever, I was cursing the existence of those siren tater tots.


	7. Chapter 4

**AN: For older readers, more changes in this one! Please enjoy! (Reviews are lovely as well.)**

**Thank you for reading! **

Chapter 4: BEWARE (JAY-Z REMIX /PANJABI MC)

We stared at each other, Edward and I, wide eyed. I don't know exactly how he felt about the kisses and the grope fest, but in my drunken state I didn't care. For me it was nice, real nice. In fact, it was so nice I leaned in for some more.

"Oh no you didn't, nerd! She's my date, not yours!" Emmett boomed, coming up to us. I stepped away from Edward. My face felt like it was on fire.

"Really, Nethenderal, you're messing with me? Bella doesn't look like your date for several reasons. First, she was kissing me not you fat boy. Number two, Rosalie is here. Try and use your nonfunctioning brain. That…is…not…a… good…thing," Edward slowly explained to his brother.

"What's a Nethenderal?" Emmett asked.

"It's a prehistoric imbecile like you are, Emmett," Edward answered.

"You mean like dinosaurs and stuff?"

"My god, you are dumb," Edward said.

On this point, I might finally have to agree with Edward.

"Guys, this is my party! Stop fighting! You are ruining it for me! Oh… and you're ruining it for Bella, too!" Alice whined at her brothers. Edward looked down at his sister, his eyes growing to the size of saucers. I realized he hadn't really "seen" Alice until now.

"Alice…what is it that you are NOT wearing?" Edward was barely containing his anger.

"Art," Alice squeaked.

"No sister, you are naked. Bella, could you please try to cover up my sister?" He asked me. I wrapped my arms tightly around Alice, as Edward began to remove his sweater.

Alice winked at me, "Hey Bella. How are you doin' tonight, hot stuff?"

"Not the time, Alice," I replied.

I watched Edward pull his sweater over his head, as he revealed his toned stomach, as the tight black tee-shirt he wore rode up. I dropped my arms and stared blatantly. Alice laughed.

"Bella, please try to cover her while she puts this on?" Edward asked impatiently, completely putting a damper on the fantasies that were beginning in my head.

Alice pulled on her brother's sweater. It really didn't cover very much. It was very short and tight, Edward's personal style. In a town of hockey jerseys and baseball caps, the metro sexual styling Edward liked to rock, stuck out like a sore thumb.

Edward turned towards Emmett and Jasper," How could the two of you let her do that? She's naked, you fools!"

"What do ya mean? She told me it was a new type of fabric," Emmett said puzzled. Jasper just mumbled what sounded like Alice or maybe Alaska. I needed a digital translator on my cell phone for that guy.

"Well, I'll be Alice, causing a scene again, girl. You went to a new high or should I say low on this one," A voice purred.

It was Rosalie and I cringed. She turned to me and said," Hey Pearl Jam. Oh wait, it was Lumberjack, because you were so dirty. What happened to the flannel?"

Rosalie hadn't changed a bit. Perfectly styled blond curls and Aphrodite body, that girl could have any man in the room. At least, she could have the men that had never actually had a conversation with her. Rosalie might look like an angel, but inside she was pure viper. Looking back at our teenage years, it was odd to think that outsiders called us the Three Musketeers. It was more like the Two Musketeers and the sister of one the Musketeer's boyfriends that we never hung out with. We hung out with Angela instead and Rosalie would throw out insults in our direction.

When I moved to Forks, Alice embraced me immediately. The way she kept twitching I was surprised it wasn't a physical embrace. I could imagine her running up to me, grabbing me around the waist with such force that we would land on top of each other in the hallway. I am glad she held herself back. Alice pretty early in our friendship, pronounced me her, "Best Friend Forever and Ever." From that point on we were confidants, sisters and Alice's cuddle buddy for sleepovers. She would dress me up like a Barbie doll and spend hours trying to convince me into getting a bikini wax. It was a strange relationship, but, along with Angela, the best one I ever had.

Rosalie, on the other hand, was unhinged. Her reasons for randomly hanging out with Alice, Angela and I was to make sure she could keep a close eye on Emmett. I would never forget the day when Alice innocently informed us of Emmett's upcoming date with Jessica Stanley, one of Rosalie's minions. Emmett and Rosalie were on a "break". Rosalie screamed, "I will gut that Stanley bitch like a fish!"

I'll give it to Jessica. The captain of the cheerleading squad was stupid, but for a rare moment tough. She wasn't going to finally stand up to Rosalie Hale Whitlock. Jessica was going to have a date with the school's quarterback no matter what. Unfortunately, for Jessica, she never learned that you can't underestimate Rosalie. The next day, pinned to the walls throughout the school, were naked pictures of Jessica that were taken in the gym's shower room. Two days later, Rosalie and Emmett were back together and Jessica was back to being Rosalie's slave.

"I can't believe that I was not invited to this party, Alice. I am hurt. You know deeply, or something. Honestly, I am your Maid of Honor," Rosalie announced with a smirk.

Alice crinkled her nose liked she smelled something rotten, 'You were fired, Rosalie Whitlock. Bella was always supposed to be Maid of Honor. The only reason you are still invited is Jazz."

"Oh. Who is replacing Bella, then? Rosalie asked.

Alice grabbed little Angela who was standing next to me. Angela let out a tiny squeak, her eyes wide and she clutched my arm. Poor Angela, she knew this was going to be a big mess. I was surprised she had gotten out of it in the first place.

Rosalie nodded her head, "I understand now. You didn't want the competition on your big day. Your picked your two little mice that you adopted in school. Cute. Do they still poop in their cage?"

I looked at Edward. He was clenching his hands and glared at Rosalie. Emmett just stared at her blankly, and then I noticed him turn and look and the man next to Rosalie. Emmett let out a low growl. The man had dark curly hair, a Grecian nose, fancy designer suit and a smug look on his face. They made a perfect and snobby couple.

"This is Royce. I have wanted you all to meet him. We are all going to be the best of friends," She announced.

Royce yawned, 'It's a pleasure."

Emmett glared, 'Well Rose, I'm here with…"

"Righteous indignation, Rosalie, he's her with righteous indignation that you would show up uninvited to his sister's party," Edward interrupted. "Bella and I were just heading out. What a stellar party you threw, Alice. I would say it was nice to see you Rosalie, but it wasn't."

Edward grabbed me by the elbow and whisked me out the door. I heard Emmett say to Jasper as we were leaving, "Can't he just speak English. Damn."

XXXXXX

"I'll just get a cab, "I said to Edward as he led me to his car.

"I'm your date, so I'll be driving you home tonight," he replied smugly.

"You can't tell me what to do. I am not some pathetic little girl following you around all moon eyed," I turned my back to him. "Wait, wasn't you following me around? That's what rumor I heard."

He took a hold of my arm and turned me around. "Don't be ridiculous. Just get in the car."

He guided me to his silver Volvo and it brought back a flood of memories. One memory, that was the most prominent, starred Edward with me in the backseat. I stopped and stared.

"What?" he asked.

"Is that the same car you had in high school?"

"It's the newest model. You still drive that old red truck?"

"No. A Prius now," I replied.

He snickered opening the door. Ass.

I slid in and buckled my seatbelt. I primly folded my hands in my lap, staring straight ahead. I couldn't forget that night, we spent in the car. It was only a few hours, but it made me feel special even though it began in anger. I had expected Edward drop me off at home first, I wasn't speaking him, so it would be better for me to leave first to avoid any awkwardness. The rest had coupled off and were heading off to various make out locations. Instead, Edward headed off to a popular make out spot. We sat and talked about his dreams of being a composer and the pressure he was feeling about going into medicine like his dad. Then I let him know that I saw him with Lauren and I thought he was a man whore. I yelled and he pleaded. We then made out like demented rabbits.

It started with a sweet kiss. He slowly entered my mouth with his tongue. I felt faint. He stroked me from my face, to my breasts, then cupping my ass. All the things I absolutely refused to let Jacob Black do when we were dating for a week. Edward stared into my eyes and said, "You are so very special."

That night ended up being magical. Then the truth came rushing back the when we headed back to school on Monday. Edward was caught, again, in the janitor's closet with Lauren Malloy. Supposedly, she was going "down" on him, again. Very classy, Mr. Cullen, very classy. That was the day I decided to detest Edward.

On the way to my house I felt him glance at me. I just looked out the front window, until we pulled up to my house. "About the kiss tonight…" Edward began.

"Just forget it. No big deal, "I said exiting the car. On way out, I tripped over the uneven pavement and not very gracefully caught myself. I just kept walking with my chin up back to the house without looking back.

That night I dreamt of Edward Cullen. I dreamt I kneed him in the groin.


	8. Mini Chapter 4

**AN: Let me know what you think! Thank you for reading!**

Forks Mini Chapter 4

Even Shy Girls Get the Blues: The Incredibly Tame Story of a Miss Angela Webber

Ben Cheney eats the same thing every Friday. Two slices of pizza, one tropical fruit cup, a chocolate cupcake and a carton of 2% milk that fill his tray and he eats them all with a fork and knife. I am not counting the milk, of course, because that would just be silly and illogical thing to do. One Friday the cafeteria ran out of tropical fruit cups and Ben slammed his tray on his table and poked an apple with his fork repeatedly. He's cute when he's angry.

I'm not stalking him, which would be a Mike Newton type thing to do. Bella has started carrying around a purple squirt gun and when he's creeping to close she's squirts him with it. It's a surprisingly effective technique. Ben wouldn't need a squirt bottle for me, because I'm just a quiet observer of human nature. Ben Cheney human nature is my scientific focus.

"What are you smiling about, Angela?" Bella asked looking up from some creepy Stephan King book she's reading. My father says they are books by the devil, I just find them creepy. I have a couple of King books hidden under the floor boards in my bedroom with my Sonic Youth and Pixies CDS. I cannot wait to escape to college. Dad thinks I'm off to The Lord is Our Shepherd Bible College, but little does he know that I already have a full ride to Boston College. Poor dad has quite the surprise coming.

"I was just thinking about lunch."

It's Friday afternoon and Bella and I are hiding in the library. It is our usual Friday spot. Once again, Alice is planning a sleepover and Bella refuses to be near Edward. I figured if we hide out and wait for her to leave school; we can call her from Bella's house and invite her there instead. That way we can escape Edward and Alice's Brittany Spear CDs. I wouldn't have any one stay overnight at my house. It would be a wave of social suicide by carrots sticks and bible school coloring books. My parents still think I'm eight.

Bella snickered, "Was it the lukewarm pizza or Ben Cheney?"

"I was just observing that Ben likes to slice his pizza in smaller than bite size pieces. Also that zygote Mike Newton was sitting next to him," I answered with a snarl.

"We have now labeled Mike a zygote? Those are fighting words, woman. I don't think they are really friends. Mikey is like a leech. Always hooking on to people, but I think Ben's too nice to burn him off." Bella started drawing on the table. I shot her a disapproving look. "What? I'm making it look better! It's a Rosalie Medusa!"

It was impressive. Bella continued, "You should ask Bennie to prom."

"Are you nuts? I have never talked to him before! I wear glasses!" I cried. "I thought we were going together."

"Alice said we were going together. I never agreed. Not to mention, there is already that pesky rumor that we're lesbians. I think Rosalie Medusa needs some more pointed teeth. That hussy has a huge mouth," Bella pondered out loud.

"That one is a Rosalie rumor, right?" When I wasn't praying for lightning to strike Mike Newton in church, I was praying for Rosalie. Not at she would be saved, because Satan's handmaiden can't. Instead, I wished that fire and brimstone would rain down on her. I need to work on the whole being more forgiving thing.

"That one and the one that Jasper is a polygamist and we are his sister wives with Alice. It's vintage Rosalie. Jessica and Lauren are too stupid to come up with that. Those two can only conjure up that ridiculous one about us kissing frogs." Bella started giving the Rosalie Medusa heads a variety of horns, in different shapes and colors.

"Is this about Edward? He isn't going to prom with Lauren. Emmett confirmed that she made it up." I thought if Bella would just talk to Edward, so many things would be cleared up. He really liked her and they could be so happy.

Bella gave me an angry look. "Ang, I really don't care what vapid holes he sticks his...thing in. He's not my boyfriend, so it's a non-issue.

It was decidedly not a non-issue the way he stared at her and how he was always in the same room as she was and salivating. I was about to try and talk to Bella about him when a high pitched squeal let out, "Girls, there you are! He was right! Sleepover tonight at my house! We need to discuss prom!"

The librarian tried to hush the rampaging Alice when I noticed a smirking Edward behind them. I guess I, I mean, Mike Newton wasn't the only stalker in school.


	9. Chapter 5

**AN: Today in honor of my wedding anniversary, I am posting updates for Forks revised, a Forks Mini Chapter, Daily Affirmations and Ugly Duckling Bakery! Make my day even more special by reviewing and checking out my other stories. (I bet you'll like them.)  
**  
**Also, thank you for reading my stories! You all are wonderful!  
**  
**Quick story rec... What If by WhatIfThingsWereDifferent. Her story is amazing. She conveys so much emotion in so few words. It really is fantastic!**

Chapter 5: COULD YOU BE THE ONE (STEREOPHONICS)

"Dad, move the filing cabinet over to the wall by my desk. Jacob, seriously stop stuffing your face with pizza and help my dad. Damn, you're one lazy man. I don't understand how Leah stands living with you," I complained.

I sat at my computer downloading design programs onto my computer. It wasn't going nearly fast enough. Someday in the future maybe the town would get something other than dial up internet. I drummed my fingers impatiently on the desk and tapped my foot. I was cranky, hung over, and to be honest it was mostly really cranky. I just wanted to go back to bed. Unfortunately, my office in the old storefront wouldn't set up itself.

"Come on, Jake, there are other people here!' My father snarled." You ate the WHOLE pizza? Maybe somebody else wanted something to eat? Bells honey, I'm going to pick up a burger from the diner. You want a turkey burger?"

"Sounds good, Dad, let me get you some money," I replied. BEEP, BEEP, BEEP. This stupid piece of crap machine! Why wouldn't it work?

"Lunch is on me, kid."

"Hey Charlie, can you bring me two burgers?" asked Jacob.

"Don't push your luck, boy. I'll be back, Bells." Charlie headed out the door leaving me only with Mr. Staring Problem.

Jacob and I worked in silence with him glancing in my direction every couple of minutes. I missed the weird boy who was my annoying friend. We should have never tried to be anything other friends when we were young. I learned my lesson that friendship doesn't equal a good romantic relationship. Also, it never pays to start a relationship to make someone jealous. Prom night with Jacob was a disaster of epic proportions. Also, he has to be the worst kisser in the history of man. The amount of slobber Jake can produce could solve the world's water issues.

Jacob cleared his throat, "Bella?"

"Hmm…"

"I have something for you," he said looking at me with a huge grin.

"No…" I started to protest.

"It's a present from Billy for you. Something for the office," he replied.

Thank god, saved from awkwardness. I smiled, "Pass it over, Black."

Jacob headed over to his backpack that he had shoved into the corner of the room. He pulled out a rectangular shaped object wrapped in burlap. He came over and placed it on my desk. I removed the burlap slowly to find a carved sign saying, SWAN DESIGNS. It was beautiful and brought tears to my eyes. I felt Jacob's hands as they caressed my face.

"Get the fuck off, Jake," I snarled. "Are you on drugs, Jacob Black? Because the only excuse that you are allowed to use to apologize for such idiocy is that you are on strong cold medicine and it is messing with your head."

"What did I do?" he asked.

"Touching my face is never okay, Jacob. While were making a list of things you can't do is making those weird faces at me. Just stop it, because it's creepy. You have a beautiful, pregnant wife waiting for you. You sir, do not deserve her. Now go home and pamper her." I pointed to the door.

Jacob stammered with his hands in the air, "You don't understand, Bells. You and me…"

"I adore Leah. I like being her friend. There is no you and me. Now go. Oh and tell Billy I said thank you for his lovely gift."

"I wasn't trying to mack on you, Isabella Swan! It was a...a…an eyelash! Umm…don't say anything to Leah about this, kay?" Jacob asked in desperation and he ran out the door.

I grinned as he exited. Finally, I had blissful silence that would allow me to accomplish something. That lasted for about one minute, until Mike Newton strolled in.

"Hey, Izzy. You looked fine in da' club last night," he announced.

Wait, he was there? Huh. My drunkenness made him invisible. For that reason alone, I had made my peace with my hangover.

"What do you need, Michael?" I questioned ignoring his flirting.

He said excitedly, "I want to start that flyer, ASAP."

"Give me a couple days. I'm not really set up yet. How about I take a couple of notes and get started when everything is up and running." I sighed as I opened up my desk to remove a notepad and pencil. When I looked up he was perched on my desk, only inches from my face.

"This is a better location to discuss amore," he leered.

"That's inappropriate, Michael." I glared at him as he leaned closer and grabbed my wrist. Luckily, I had the newly sharpened pencil in my hand. I plunged it into his wrist.

"Oww!" He screamed and moved from the desk. I slid under it and pulled the chair up to create a protective cage.

"Oh my little Swan, you are frisky. I love frisky."

You have to be kidding me. Of course, he did, because Mike Newton is a freak.

Mike continued his creepy whining, "Don't you want to come out and play, baby? Daddy has some toys we can use in my car."

"You leave now, Michael. My dad is on his way back now with lunch…and his gun!" I screamed angrily. Sex toys in his car? Was Newton a serial killer or a delusional sex fiend? It didn't matter which it was, because I was downright frightened.

"We need to discuss our connection."

"All I want to discuss is you getting kicked in the head!" I yelled, as I backed even further under my desk.

Mike laughed, "You can't, my sweet bird. You're under a desk."

Before I got a chance to explain to him the connection Charlie's gun was going to have with his leg, I heard the door open. _Yay Charlie!_ I thought.

"Bella, I need you to listen to me. I really need to talk to you about last night. I think we once again have had a misunderstanding. I know you don't want to talk to me, but you can't get rid of me. You are just going to have to hear me out. Umm…Newton, why is Bella under her desk?" The voice said.

It was Edward. Shit.

I answered for Mike, "Michael decided to accost me in my office. He needs to leave IMMEDIATELY!"

"What did you do, Newton?" Edward asked darkly.

"You know man, trying to hit it with my lady." Mike said meekly.

Edward, always the drama queen, quietly said, "Get out of here now before I rip your head off."

"I'll be back soon, lovely," Mike said quickly exiting the building.

I just squatted there hoping that Edward would just leave. Instead he moved to the desk and kneeled down next to it, "Need help out of there, Tiger?"

"No, thank you." I said trying to regain some dignity. I quickly tried to scoot out of the desk, but ended up toppling onto Edward and landed on top of him. We laid there staring at each other. He sighed softly, weaved his fingers in my hair and leaned up to kiss me forcibly.

I didn't plan on kissing him back, but I just couldn't stop. It felt too good and I the impact vibrated throughout my whole body. The heat of his body pulsed through my thin tee-shirt and shorts. I felt his groin press into me, his jeans chafing my bare legs. He flipped me over onto my back and just kept on kissing me. This was wrong…so wrong…no, right…very right….Wait, Charlie!

I pushed on Edward's chest to stop him, but he just ignored me. "Umph…Ed…umph… Charlie!"

He pulled away and asked, "What about Charlie?"

"He'll be here any minute with lunch! This is a place of business. You know my design company, not a brothel," I said panicked.

"Oh right! We should calm things down," Edward replied, pulling me up and using his hands to flatten my hair. "You know, I don't think of you like that. Listen, I should give you heads up. My dad has a design job for you if you want. He's planning a benefit carnival for the hospital and I'm on the committee with him. He was going to spring it on you tonight."

"You and your dad can give me all the details about this benefit at dinner tonight at your house. Alice said I should be there around 5:30. I'll just see you then." I smiled nervously.

"Okay. That sounds good. We can discuss the thing with us then too." Then before I had a chance to back away, he quickly kissed me on the nose and went out the door in a flash.

Charlie passed Edward as he entered and looked at me with a concerned expression. "What did the Cullen boy want, Bells?"

I just shrugged. I didn't know myself.


	10. Mini Chapter 5

**AN: T****hank you for reading this mini chapter! Please review!  
**

Forks Mini Chapter 4

Who Let The Dog Out?: Jacob Black's One Moment as Bella's Sun

"You're going to the Forks Senior Prom next Saturday," My girl stated with a grimace. She was sitting uncomfortably in my garage on an old couch that I found on the side of the highway. "Why does this smell like piss?"

"Are you asking me to be your date?" I squeaked like a chick. I watched as she jumped off the couch. I didn't know what her problem was. There were only a few stains. Then I asked in a deeper and a more manly voice, "As your date, baby?"

Bella Swan was my Lara Croft. I dreamt of her wearing short, shorts and a tight, black tank top while cracking her whip as the enemy soldiers raced to attack us. The two of us fought next to each other and when our enemies lay dead at our feet, she would grab me and thrust her hot mouth against mine. My hands would touch her boo…

My girl, who disappointingly wore a baggy flannel and paint streaked jeans, frowned as she replied, "I guess, but with Angela too. We need someone to go with us so that Rosalie creep doesn't call us lesbians. If we show up alone she's going to try something. Seriously, Jake did something die on that couch? That thing can't be hygienic!"

"Wait, you mean a threesome, right?" I squeaked out again. I thought my voice changed months ago. What the hell. "I mean, you need the Jake Man in a Bells and Angela lady sandwich."

"Forget I asked you anything, Jake. I will eat something bad and get food poisoning first. God, I should just eat something out of here. Damn, this is like a science experiment gone bad." Bella had leaned into my mini fridge and she pulled out a coke for us both. Damn, my girl had a mighty fine ass. She threw one of the cokes at me and it crashed into my forehead.

My sister, Rachel told me once that if a girl made fun of you that meant she really liked you. That meant Bella must be madly in love with my pecs. Rachel always gave me the best advice about the ladies. Like you should never open doors for them or that girls liked men who refused to wear deodorant.

I grabbed a wrench and started to fiddle with my dirt bike. Bella just played with the top of her soda flicking the tab back and forth. She looked up and asked, "Could you look at my truck? It's making some funky noises. It would be really cool if you looked at it."

"Yeah, sure, it won't be a problem." I ran my fingers through my long hair. I bet Bella would like it short. I think I need to get a haircut tomorrow. I wonder if she really wanted me to come with her to the prom. I bet those losers, the Cullen's would just shit a brick if I showed up. "You know I have my tux from my cousin Brady's wedding. It wouldn't be a huge deal for me to go with you. Unless that Alice chick has an issue..."

"I don't care what Ed...Alice thinks about who I come with. If you can act like the somewhat normal Jacob and not the obnoxious pervert you usually are, then you would be a fine escort."

Why did she just almost mention that dick wad, Edward? Did she like him? Maybe, I could play this to win. Bella continued, "You just come and hang out for a few hours. No dancing, because that would be painful in so many ways. We could sit at a table, drink some punch and make fun of my classmates. It would be...umm...fun."

"That could work. But, Bells could you just think about something before you say no? I mean we could go as friends to your prom, but what if we went as more. You know like boyfriend and girlfriend. Do you ever think what it would be like if we dated? I do all the time. We could have a practice date and just try it out! I could take you to the teen center and we can play pool or go to one of the movies they play there. You can't beat two dollar tickets. Ghostbusters is playing on Friday," I quickly stated. I bet she would say no, my girl almost always says no.

"Ghostbusters is playing? What is this 1984?" Bella asked. "You know, Jake, it's nice that you want to do things with me. Only, I think I can't see you as anything more than an obnoxious little brother type."

Crap, I had to play the Cullen is an asshole card. "Bella, I know you think of me as a buddy. I get that. But girl, you are so pretty. There are guys that are out there will see a nice looking girl like you and would totally try to use you. You know, like that Edward Cullen jerk. I know that you're good friends with Alice, but you can't tell me that her brother isn't one of those rich tools that are only interested into getting into a girl's pants."

I didn't understand the look on Bella's face. She looked so sad. "Bells, what's wrong?"

"Nothing...I...I...you're really my friend? You wouldn't hurt me, right?"

"Never, Bells, I think you are just great! I only would do the best for you!" I was getting so close to the promise land of making Bella my girlfriend. Maybe I would be able to touch a real live boob.

"Right, well, let me try something..." Bella gently put her lips on mine. A kiss, my first kiss! I immediately thrust my tongue in Bella's mouth.

Bella pushed me hard away from her and let out a cry. "Ouch, your chest is like a freaking wall. What's the hell is up with the tongue insert, asshole?"

"I've never kissed a girl before, Bells! I thought that's how you do it!" At least that's how they do it in the pornos that Embry stole from his dad's closet. "Let me try again. I promise it will be good."

I put my hands on her face and leaned in and just moved my lips against her. Patience, Jake, patience...don't touch her butt. Don't touch her butt. Unfortunately, my hands have a mind of their own.

"What the hell, Jake? Get off my ass!" Bella shouted.

That's when the laughing started behind us. Embry exclaimed, "Great show you, two! It was hot!"

"Bella's got a cute butt and Jacob cannot lie. Other brothers cannot deny..." Quil started to sing out.

"I really need to just leave now!" Bella slapped me in the back of the head, and then ran out of the garage.

Quil looked confused for a moment at the fleeing Bella and clasped a hand on my shoulder. "Dude, what's up with you and Bella?"

"My homies, Jacob Black has a girlfriend!" I yelled happily with a smile.


	11. Chapter 6

**AN: Happy Monday, everyone! **

**To celebrate the dreary Monday we are having here, I will be updating all my stories today and promising to reply to reviews. **

**As you can see, Forks Revised, it is now only called Forks. (I removed the old version last week) A new mini bonus chapter will follow this one. Also, Ugly Duckling Bakery and Daily Affirmations have been posted today. **

**Finally, I started a Facebook page for my stories that has my first ever banner for Forks. You can find me at Staceleo Stories. I****'****ll place teasers, story updates and just love to chat about your story recommendations!  
**

Chapter 6: LITTLE BIT OF RED (SERENA RYDER)

I took more care in my outfit then I was planning to when getting ready for dinner with the Cullen's. Edward's kisses had made me lose my ability to be concerned about my own self-preservation. I looked down critically at the ensemble and tried to smooth out any wrinkles. The fitted black button down was strategically opened to be decent with a little sex thrown in. I added a pair of dark jeans and ballet flats that not only provide comfort, but the ability to run fast from the house, and Edward, if need arose. My hair was pulled into a sleek ponytail to show off my neck. I imagined him pulling that ponytail back when his perfect lips attacked my neck and his hands cupping my...stop it, Swan. I glanced at my reflection in the rear view mirror. I was sitting in my red Prius in the Cullen's driveway in an attempt to get my courage up to enter.

I took a deep breath. I can do this, I thought to myself. I headed out of my car and up to the front door. I did have to stop and admire the very modern glass house. This was a common practice that I would perform my teenage years when coming to visit Alice. It was a far cry from my father's worn earthen toned rooms with their slight smell of mildew. The Cullen's house was, in contrast, a vision of minimalism with its clean lines. It would be considered a cold structure, if the people inside weren't so wonderful. It surprised and made me happy when I put Edward in that category. This meant that, obviously, I must be coming down with some brain tape worm that was destroying my mental health.

I was about to knock on the door when it swung open and Alice enveloped me in a hug and whispered, "You and Edward? I like."

How did she know anything concerning Edward and I? If that beautiful, I meant idiotic man had opened his mouth, I was going to attack him and kiss... Wait, no I meant pummel him with my mouth. No my fists! I quickly tried to get control of my traitorous mind when I truly looked at my friend. I burst into laughter when I saw her outfit. I was in a blissful shock.

"Do not say a word, Isabella Swan! I will never live this ensemble down! Edward and Emmett tattled on me to Esme and Carlisle. Now Esme gets to pick out my outfits for a whole week! It's not fair! I'm an adult!" Alice cried.

Alice would be distressed, because her fashionista card would be revoked with this ode to country club living. Esme had dressed my best friend in a light pink sweater set, khaki cargo pants with pleats, pearls and, the most horrible punishment of all for Alice, white KED sneakers.

I just shook my head trying to calm down the bubbling of even more laughter, as I stepped into the house. "If the three of you move out, then you can follow your own rules. It's called growing up."

"I know, I know, be your own functioning adult and it will improve your sense of worth. My stinking therapist has been trying to drill that into my head for years. The only problem is under Daddy's magnificent love I get free clothes, free food, and 800 channels on TV. Jasper is moving in after the wedding, too! It's a sweet gig, Bella! When you and Edward get hitched, you can move in, too! It will be a permanent slumber party!" She laughed.

"Dream on, woman, I like being independent. Now bring me to your parents," I said.

We entered the large living room that could have been a picture out of any national modern design magazine. It was lovely. Low beige couches were where Edward and Jasper were sitting having an animated discussion. Carlisle was sitting in his usual place, a dark brown chair, and reading, "The Secret Sexual Life of Porpoises". I had forgotten about Carlisle's study of the sexual lives of… well…everything. Alice used to bring the books into school, so we can take notes on the images. Daddy Cullen had the human sexuality books under lock and key, so we had to make do with what we could get. One day, she actually hijacked the morning announcements to read aloud about the mating habits of koalas. She got two weeks detention for that stunt, but a whole bunch of street cred. That Alice was a force of nature.

That force jumped into the living room yelling, "She's here! She's here!"

Carlisle stood up and laid his book onto his chair, then came towards me with a big smile. That man still resembled a fashion model, his blond hair with only a bit of gray around the edges. He took my hands in his and stated with authority, "Dear Isabella, you've been greatly missed."

"My sweet Bella is finally home! How are you, darling girl?" Esme appeared from the kitchen wiping her hands on her apron, then giving me a large hug. She never looked as if she had aged a day. I wondered if she got her hair color done at a salon or from a box in the bathroom. If anyone could do a dye job perfectly at home it would be Esme Cullen.

I had missed the Cullen parents. They embraced me as one of their own children. That was probably due to the relief to have one young person around who had some common sense. How they ever raised three emotionally stunted children was beyond me. I adored those children, but they had the combined emotionally maturity of an ADD inflicted ten-year old.

"I am making your favorite, Bella! Italian, just like your ancestors!" Esme smiled. I hated to burst her bubble, so I just played along. Truth be told, there wasn't a drop of Italian blood in me. I would have thought Alice would have said something, but she enjoyed watching Esme try to stuff me with food.

Edward looked up at me and smiled, while Jasper mumbled something. I was about to ask about Emmett's whereabouts, when two large hands grabbed me by the waist and lifted me up. He pulled me close to his face and kissed me full on the lips.

"What is wrong with you? Put her down now!" Edward yelled rising from the couch.

"I was just trying to make up for that night at the club. I left this poor, pretty girl in your nerdy clutches. Howdy ho there, my little monkey." Emmett lowered me down and petted me on the head.

"Boys, you are being rude! Help me bring in the appetizers," Esme scolded them.

Edward and Emmett followed their mother into the kitchen. They brought out trays full of antipastos, stuffed breads, etc. It was way too much food. Who was going to eat all this stuff? When Emmett's massive frame lowered itself in front of the food, I realized it wasn't going to be a problem at all.

It was relaxing sitting with Jasper and the Cullens. I was expecting Alice to start in on the wedding plans, but instead she announced, "I have gotten a job."

We all looked at her with our mouths open. Alice didn't work. She was the only one here to never actually work a real job. Edward was a doctor like Carlisle. Emmett was a workout trainer at the local gym. Strangely, Jasper was a linguist and taught classes at the Forks Community College. Esme was an interior designer. They were people that went into a place of business each day. All Alice did was shop. I was in shock when she said," I am going to be Bella's assistant."

"Whoa. I never offered you a job. I can't pay you. I'm lucky I can pay the lease. Why?" I asked. That girl was up to no good.

"You won't be paying me. It's for experience to put on my resume. I can be a grownup. Even better, I can do your hair every morning," She said bouncing.

It all became clear. If she became a "grown up", Esme couldn't punish her. Oh Alice.

"I really need to concentrate on my work, Alice." I looked sternly at her. I was hoping to scare her with my angry Bella stare.

"I will be such a help. I promise!" She trilled.

Edward looked at Alice in disapproval. "You can't force, Bella to…"

"Shut it, Edward," she hissed.

"All right, Alice. We'll try it out," I relented. I really couldn't tell that girl no.

It was time for dinner and we all headed into the formal dining room. Everyone had a formal place card. That Esme never did anything halfway. It was not a surprise to me that Edward was sitting next to me. It was, however, to Emmett.

"What are you doing in my seat?" He roared as Edward grinned at him.

"Oh pardon, Emmett. It appears to be my place card here." Edward gave his brother shrug.

"You switched it, asshole!" Emmett bellowed.

"Stop it right now! You two are embarrassing our guest!" Esme cried.

"Sit down, Emmett," Carlisle stated sternly.

Yes, I was in a house full of hormonal adolescents. I looked at Jasper in hopes for some solidarity in this madhouse. He, of course, was laughing hysterically. Then I felt it. One of those children was rubbing my upper thigh. I looked at Edward. He smiled and winked at me.

"Hey, Eddie," Emmett said. "I forgot to tell you something."

"What?" Edward asked suspiciously, kneading my thigh harder. I must say that felt very good.

"Tanya called tonight. She's planning on coming to visit this weekend," Emmett said feigning wide-eyed innocence.

Edward's hand on my leg froze. I, in turn, stepped on his foot. He yelped and looked at me with pleading eyes. I just fixed my gaze on Emmett and gave him a large, but empty smile.


	12. Mini Chapter 6

**AN: Please enjoy! **

Forks Mini Chapter 6

Even Cowboy Have the Blues: Jasper's Honkey Tonk Two Step

"She's dating Jacob Black, Jazzy! She doesn't even like him! The only reason she was taking that goof ball to prom was to stick it to Edward! Jacob Black smells like stinky car oil and drug store cologne. You know the kind that where the original might be called Escape, but the knock off spells it with a 'X'."

My darlin' little lady was tapping her finger on cafeteria table in a fury. She was on the warpath and it was scary. "My little Sunflower, maybe Bella just likes..."

"I can barely understand you! Enunciate, Jasper, because that retainer didn't do you any favors in the speech department." Sometimes she can be cruel in her thoughtlessness.

"I have my retainer in my mouth now," I explained with a lisp.

Alice looked at my face and ran her hand over it. "Baby, I am so sorry! I didn't mean to mock you! You have a sexy and wonderful voice! Why are you wearing your retainer?"

"Rosalie keeps grinding it up in the garbage disposal. It's safer in my mouth." I wiped a drop of spit from the side of my mouth with a napkin. My momma was going to have my head if Rose destroyed another one. For some reason, it was my fault that their daughter was a demon.

"She is a monster! Oh my poor Jazzy. I am just upset over this Bella and Edward mess. Those two are destined to be together. Maybe, we need to stage an intervention?"

Alice was obsessed with Bella and Edward's non relationship. My theory was that like the North and the South before they came back together as a nation, Bella and Edward has to fight it out before coming together as a more perfect union. I liked studying the past. It made so much more sense, then the craziness today. Plus, nothing was sexier than a demure lady in a hoop. I wonder if Alice would dress up for me? Maybe, accompany me to a battlefield reenactment? Somehow, I felt she wouldn't be impressed by the costumes of a simple battlefield nurse, yet I couldn't help imagining here mopping my sweaty brow and tending to my wounds, as my head lay in the folds of her voluminous skirts. I really should start my North & South fan fiction story.

"Jazzy, are you even listening?" Alice pouted at me. She took a large bite of her banana and I almost fainted. "She doesn't even like kissing him! Every time I ask her about it she makes a weird face like she ate bad sushi!"

"Who ate sushi?" I asked. I was still somewhat involved in my daydream about the battle of Gettysburg, Nurse Alice and a banana.

"I was talking about Jacob Black being a horrible kisser. Bella and Edward to kiss! You need to talk to him and get him to talk about his feelings for Bella."

"I think I need to stay out of it. They'll figure it out."

Alice waved that distracting banana at me. "I would highly stress that you get over there and drag Edward back over where he belongs or no groping behind the bleachers for you, mister! Also, grab Emmett while you're at it. The more time he spends with the bitch squad, the more brain cells he loses."

Before I could answer, Bella and Angela strolled up, precariously balancing their books and food trays.

"Let me help you with these, little ladies," I offered the girls with my most charming smile.

"What?" Bella asked in confusion. That girl could never understand a word I was saying. How you couldn't possibly understand a perfect southern accent that was covering a lisp, was a mystery to me. However, that sassy Miss Swan was a mystery in so many ways not only to me, but the male student body of Forks.

"He wants to help you two with your things." Alice shook her head in disappointment at her friends. "Honestly, you girls and your lack of self-preservation, balancing those things. You can't let Rosalie have anyway of preying on your weaknesses. She will make sure something horrible happens to you!"

That was the damned truth.

Bella shrugged and sat down. "We are still debating eating in the library. Angela thinks Ben is going to ask Jessica to prom. Understandably, she doesn't want to witness the horror show."

"I really couldn't stand seeing them together," Angela stated sadly. She was always the kindest girl in school. Miss Webber deserved the best. I had a pretty cool friendship with Ben Cheney; we both liked playing Battleship after school. Perhaps I could be of assistance? While I pondered how to play matchmaker, because this was more of Alice's role, Angela continued, "Plus Bella doesn't want to see..."

"No, we are not discussing Bella anything, Ang." Bella frowned and started drawing something furiously on the table. Bella's drawings were a huge hit at Forks. The principal was on a rampage to discover the culprit, which made Bella a heroine to the school's bad asses. The skaters and surfers thought she was an artistic goddess and were trying to gather the courage to ask her to decorate their boards. I was just impressed that she truly captured my sister in all her Hell beast glory in a portrait in the school gymnasium. As soon as Rosalie would get the janitor's to remove it, Bella would return it bigger and scarier than before.

Bella looked up from her picture and glanced at Rosalie's table, where Lauren was perched on Edward's lap. He was an idiot. That was no way to get Bella to be his girlfriend. Anyone with half a brain knew that Bella and Jacob's relationship was a farce. Even Emmett knew and that was saying a lot. Bella looked back at Alice. "I just find this room suffocating."

"Or is it Edward?" Alice inquired. "You know all you have to do is say that you being with Jacob Black is a lie. Then you and Edward can be happy!"

"If the Edward you are referring to is the same on that has a skank on his lap, then no thank you. I wouldn't want to catch any of the nasty things he's caught from her. Jacob is...I don't know...ahh...simplistic. It works for now. A couple more months and I'm on the first plane out of this crazy town. I think I can endure your brother for that long."

"Where are you going, Bella?" Alice squealed in a panic. She had big dreams of the two being college roommates.

Bella ignored her and started to pack up her things.

"Bella, darlin', it's not all what it seems," I pleaded with the angry girl. I hated seeing little ladies upset.

"What? Never mind, I am sure whatever you said was very sweet Jasper. You are one of the few good ones. Ali's lucky to have you. I just need to get out of here. I'm sneaking out, kids." She quickly grabbed her stuff and hustled out the door.

I looked down to see a portrait of Edward sketched onto the table. It was a perfect likeness and was extremely handsome, except for the pus filled boils she added to his skin. I was sure that without a doubt that Bella Swan was in love with Edward Cullen. Just like Scarlett O'Hara and Rhett Butler.


	13. Chapter 7

**AN: Hi everybody! Thank you all for your support of this tale!**

**New Daily Affirmations is up today, too. Ugly Duckling Bakery will be up soon! (I'm working on it today!)**

**Your reviews bring me joy! (So please review!)**

Chapter 7: HERE COMES YOUR MAN (The Pixies)

Dinner, unfortunately, went on for hours. At least it felt that way to me. I had to keep removing Edward's hand from my thigh, as he stared at me. I wanted to ram a roll up his nose. Emmett's feet kept knocking into me. I think he was trying to play "footsie", but damn, his gigantic feet hurt. There would be bruises on them after this night. Carlisle was graphically discussing the sexual positions of lemurs. Jasper would chime into the conversation, "Uh huh…y'all…I…uh…"

When dessert arrived, Alice started to dissect the outfits we would be wearing on HER first day of work and I just sighed. The idea of letting her work with was a massively horrible idea. I felt pushed into this scenario, by the wrecking ball that's name is Mary Alice Cullen. She had been bending me to her will, since we were young and I still hadn't figured a way to put a stop to her crazy. I could envision her critiquing potential clients' ensembles, breaking the copier and making the worse cup of coffee known to mankind. I cringed at the thought. Of course, this is Alice, so I will probably have to fire her after a day.

It was time to go. I really couldn't stay around Edward. It was the Lauren Malloy debacle all over again. He was still an ass. I used the next day's moving as my way to exit. To my surprise, the entire Cullen clan, Jasper included, would be coming over to help. Esme was particularly excited to create calmness to my space that would foster my creativity. I was imagining using a black marker and drawing pictures of Edward in torture devices. Now that's a way to foster all my creativity.

It would be best to refuse any help from Edward's family. A crippled Charlie made this impossible; we could use all the help we could get. The only one that I didn't want there was Edward. I really didn't think luck would be on my side to get him to keep his cheating ass home.

As I was leaving, I heard a rumble behind me. Edward and Emmett were running and pushing each other out of the way, to walk me out to my car. _Children_, I thought rolling my eyes. I walked out onto the front porch and turned around to inform the boys that I didn't need an escort, when Edward tripped Emmett. Edward ran in front of Emmett yelling, "Out of my way, Emmett! She's my girl."

I turned to tell him where he could stick that idea of in any way me belonging to his crazy. Instead, the words I attempted to say were stifled by Edward's hand covering my mouth. His other hand pulled the door shut in front of a shocked Emmett's face.

"Okay, Bella," Edward said, hyperventilating. He removed his hand from my face, bent over and rested his hands on his knees. "I need you to listen to what I have to say to you. Things aren't what they seem.

"Really, Houdini, because unless I don't see a really good reason flying out of thin air. I'm not buying what you're selling. Also, are you assuming I care about your side? That I care at all about you and Taffy?"

"Tanya," Edward corrected.

"That's exactly it. I don't care," I smirked.

Edward looked at me, frustrated. "It's over with Tanya."

"Oh, I thought she was your girlfriend. Now you're just friends? It's a platonic visit?"

"She's an almost ex. I wanted to break up face to face. It's just cruel to do it by phone, text or post-it note," Edward explained. I didn't believe his explanation.

"Are you referencing Sex in the City? You watch that?" I asked.

"Yes, Alice has all the seasons on DVD." He had a puzzled expression on his face. "Are you more concerned that I watch Sex in the City, then about what is going on with us?"

"Well you have to admit that it makes you seem…kind of girly…no this is about making out with me when you have a girlfriend, jackass. Which knowing how you've always been really shouldn't have been a major surprise."

"I was planning on ending it way before I knew you were coming back to town. Then when you walked into the club, I knew…Did you just imply that I'm gay?" He scoffed.

"I was possibly. That makes sense, because you can't commit to one woman. Are you secretly in love with Jasper? You really should tell Alice."

"Damn it, Bella! I keep trying to get in your pants! I am not gay and into Jasper! That's insane in so many levels."

I looked at him closely, "I'll just ask your girl, Twinkie. I bet she's seen you scope at the boys coming to shore at the docks. Wait…I might be wrong. You aren't gay, but very in touch with your feminine side and Twinkles who can dance on poles."

"Are you implying Tanya is a stripper?"

"If the tassels fit," I said meanly. I felt bad immediately. I don't know this girl. Edward was the bad guy.

Edward grabbed my hands, "I need YOU, Isabella Marie Swan."

"You've been screwing up your chances since Lauren Mallory. If you really wanted to be with me you wouldn't be doing stupid things."

"Why are we talking about Lauren Malloy? She's a terrible person," He asked, confused.

I pulled my hands from him. "She really is, but that still didn't stop you from using her as your personal filling station. Don't come tomorrow, Cullen."

"I'm coming to help you. We need to talk about all of these things that are putting a distance between us."

"I am not talking to you about any of this tomorrow. I will be setting up a business and starting my life over. I was getting married, Edward. Alice told you all about it, right? I was over you and I was going to be someone else's wife. I had my life in order far away from here. That was destroyed, because I was in your girlfriend's shoes. Garrett decided that I wasn't enough and he found some distractions of the feminine variety. You are as bad as he is!" I yelled at him.

Edward put both hands on my face, cupping my cheeks. "Baby, I know this looks like the same thing, but it isn't. I promise. I never want you to hurt…"

I yanked myself away from him and shook my head. I opened the door to my car, slid in and slammed it shut. I pulled out of the driveway quickly and skidded on the gravel pavement. I felt empty and very, very lonely. I was just in a relationship that ended badly and was not eager to jump into another one.

XXXXXXX

It was moving day. I only had a few things at Charlie's house and the rest was packed up in a storage unit by the highway. Charlie had Jacob over early that morning to load up a couch and chair he had picked up for me at the Salvation Army, also some random boxes of books. Jacob had placed them in the bed of my old, red truck. I really hadn't missed that old thing, but it was great for hauling and playing old country music really loudly. Jacob had patched it up at the car repair shop he worked at. It would work well enough to deliver the furniture, at least for the day. I had attempted to convince him to come along and help out, but he was adamant. He would not be hanging out with those "snobs". Actually, he used more creative wording. That boy needed his mouth washed out with soap.

I straightened up the tarp on the bed of the truck and watched as Charlie hobbled out of the house on his crutches. He smiled at me. "Didn't forget the coffee and donuts, Bella? We'll need those to get enough energy to move in all your junk."

I helped him into the passenger's seat, sticking the crutches under the tarp in the back of the truck. I climbed into the driver's seat and started driving, Charlie asked,  
"Dinner at the Cullens, good?"

"Yes. How was the movies with Sue?"

"Fine, but it's expensive. Should have rented a video."

"You mean a DVD."

"No. I have a perfectly good VCR. You kids and all these new gadgets, it's ridiculous."

I glanced at my dad, "Umm…they don't make new video cassettes of movies, just DVDs."

"I have all the good one already on VHS. Last week I watched Die Hard again. That Bruce Willis is a card…"

We pulled in as Charlie continued with giving me the entire plot and dialogue of the first Die Hard movie. Thank goodness it wasn't a long drive. As we pulled in front of the curb of the building that not only housed my design office, but my new apartment, we saw that the Cullen clan were waiting for us outside. Esme and Carlisle were sipping out of takeout coffee cups from the local coffee shop in front of the door to my office. Esme was wearing a long floral dress and holding a pad of paper, which I was sure contained decorating notes for the apartment. Carlisle was in his signature button down, khakis and jaunty scarf. Charlie smirked next to me, "Pretty dressed up for schlepping boxes. To each his own, but they are going to get dirty."

The boys were tossing around a tennis ball. The three of them, Edward, Emmett and Jasper, were all wearing the same thing: Forks High Athletics t-shirts and matching gym shorts. I felt like I was back in high school. They were a pretty attractive bunch. As I headed to the side door that led up to the apartment, I smiled at Emmett and Jasper. I looked at Edward with a frown. "Go away, jerk."

Before Edward could protest my dismissal of him, I walked quickly to a sad, sad Alice. She sat and sulked on the curb. Alice's hands were folded across her chest and she looked absolutely miserable. It must have been the outfit. The hoodie she was wearing was Pepto Bismol pink and two sizes too big on Alice's small frame. It was paired with pleated khaki shorts, ankle athletic socks and a pair of white Nikes. I started to giggle, then laugh hysterically. The irony wasn't lost on me that this was MY uniform in high school, but on Alice. Oh my…this was brilliant.

Esme wrapped me into a big hug and laughed, "Doesn't Alice look lovely?"

"Why do I feel that this is also a dig at me, Esme Cullen? I asked with my hands on my hips, as Esme laughed.

"Not a word, Swan," Alice growled from the curb.

"Where have you been all my life, Monkey?" Emmett grabbed me and swung me around. He pulled me back and stared at my shirt. "Why are you wearing a fairy shirt?"

"It says 'Pixies', Emmett. It's a band."

"Oh. Are they like hot girls?"

"No, Emmett," I replied. He was hard to deal with when you hadn't had a cup of coffee yet.

"Damn! That sucks! Talking about hot girls, how you doing?"

Emmett laughed and put me down. I looked at Edward. He stared at me. At first, I thought it was like I was naked. He was staring into my insides. It was hot… no, creepy. This guy confused me. I went over to him while the rest of the group went over to the truck to decide how to unload things. "Are you leaving?" I asked.

"No, but I am waiting for an apology."

"You want an apology for what, idiot? You're the one with the girlfriend."

"No, Bella. Well, as good as, no. Just explain why you won't believe me!"

I looked at him with a frown. "I won't be that girl who hooks up with somebody's boyfriend. It just happened to me and I refuse to do it to somebody else."

"Your boyfriend was a jerk."

"My fiancé was a jerk," I replied, looking over to Emmett as he lifted the couch by himself and started walking to the door. That thing was heavy!

Edward grabbed my hands. "I can't believe you were actually going to get married! I always knew we would be together. I can understand why you are upset with me. I promise you, I have been planning on ending this thing with Tanya for a long time."

"I am playing a teeny tiny violin or you right now."

"Bella, get over here!" yelled Emmett. I looked over and saw Emmett and Jasper try to push my couch through the door. "This stupid thing won't fit through the door. It's tight like a virgin on Prom night."

Esme looked at her son and exclaimed, "Behave, Emmett Cullen! What is the problem, exactly?"

"It won't fit, Mommy," he answered Esme.

Charlie hobbled over to watch the struggle with the couch. He dug into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a bag of sunflower seeds. He took a handful and popped them into his mouth, slowly chewing. He thoughtfully looked at everyone and spit the seeds into his coffee cup.

"Well, Esme, you might have been right about the couch," he said as he popped in another handful of seeds.

"I told you, Charlie," she agreed. "Carlisle, call Eric and tell him to come right over."

Carlisle started talking on the phone, quickly giving directions.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Well, sweetheart, Charlie gave me a heads up about the couch. I told him it wouldn't work, but Charlie is stubborn. I took it upon myself to have a backup plan," Esme said, smiling brightly.

Charlie spit another handful of seeds into his cup. I snatched the bag of seeds out of his hands. It was disgusting. "Bells, why did you take my seeds? Esme, I'll cut you a check for the stuff."

"Don't you dare! Bella is a part of our family!" Esme exclaimed. Then I noticed how she looked at me and towards Emmett. A quizzical look flickered on her face. Then she looked at me and towards Edward, her face lighting up into a smile. _Oh crap_, I thought. _Esme wants to play matchmaker._ This is like a high school production of Fiddler on the Roof. _Simmer down, Yenta._I thought, looking at her. Then I saw Alice looking at her mother and bouncing excitedly. Not her too! They were in cahoots.

I watched as the old couch was loaded back into my old truck and a large moving van with YORKIE'S FINE FURNITURE printed on the side pulled up to the building.

"Esme, I don't need new… There's only a couch in there, right?" I asked.

"Of course there's not, sweetie. We can't move you in there without matching furniture. Plus your dad said you were planning on sleeping on a mattress. That won't do at all."

I knew I should have taken my old, single bed from Charlie's, but I wanted a new queen size bed. I was just going to use the mattress for awhile, but I should have known Esme wouldn't have approved.

"You'll love it, Bella," Alice trilled. "I know these things,"

"You psychic, Alice?"

"No. But I did help pick them out."

"Of course, you did." I rolled my eyes.

"They are so comfy! I am going to spend so much time here! We're going to watch movies, paint each other's nails, hair…" She stopped and stroked my head. "I have a question, Bella, my dearest darling friend."

"Alice, what are you up to?" I asked suspiciously.

"You like purple," Alice stated as a fact.

"Why?"

"You know what would look pretty in purple?" she asked quietly, still stroking my head. I started getting nervous. "Your hair would be so pretty, like a plum! Let's add some streaks!"

"You will not touch my hair, you crazy loon!"

"You'll have to go to sleep sometime, Bella."

_Shit.  
_  
I watched as my old high school classmate, Eric Yorkie, and some kid named Alec carried in the couch as the huffed and puffed. Eric hadn't changed a bit. He was still sporting the Flock of Seagulls haircut. He also had the purple highlights Alice had just mentioned. Maybe she should experiment with him? I watched as Eric discreetly took Alec's hand. They were so sweet. It made me wistful. I went over and gave Eric a hug. "Are you still with the Forks Inquirer, mister? My dad sent my copies back East. Yo've written some great stuff."

"Yes, we both work there in fact," he said, pointing to Alec. "But it's Forks. Not a lot of news. Plus we like helping my parents."

"You are a good man, Eric Yorkie."

"Don't say it too loud. My parents will rope me into doing more things." He winked at me. Edward growled at us. Really, Edward, is that delusional?

"My lips are sealed. I am curious about what else you brought over in that truck, Eric."

"There's a lot of stuff in there, Bella. Esme bought out the place. She's a very good customer."

Of course she did. I needed to find a way to pay her back. I sighed. Eric, Alec and I turned around to get more out of the truck and in came Jasper, Edward and Emmett carrying in the furniture. Edward said, "Let us help."

Alec literally purred behind me. This reaction didn't surprise me.

While furniture was brought in, Carlisle and Jasper joined Charlie to go get more boxes from storage, pizza and beer. Alice and I began to unpack boxes and put things away. Esme was hanging artwork and everything was going quite smoothly. That was until Emmett decided to stand beside me. Putting a hand firmly on my ass, he said, "You need help with those books, Miss Bella?"

CRASH!

We all turned around to see Edward glaring at his brother with glass all around him. Glass from the vase my mother, Renee gave me for college graduation.

"What the hell, Edward? That ugly thing was given to me from my mom! Sorry, if it offended your discerning taste!" I yelled.

He looked at me. "I'm sorry Bella. I just…Emmett remove your hands from Bella's bottom."

"But they like it there. It feels like home. Actually nerd, if it would make you feel better they also like boobs," Emmett said cheekily, his one hand hovered over my chest, while he kept the other one resting on my posterior. I just sighed at the fools.

"Touch her and I'll destroy you, waste of space!" Edward screamed.

"I'm shaking here, dumbass. Isn't TANYA on her way? Figure that one out yet?"

"I am going to kill you, Emmett!" Edward said, rushing towards his brother.

"Guys, please stop!" I shouted.

Alice laughed, "No, don't stop!"

"Stop egging them on, Alice!" I said, as Edward landed on top of Emmett and they started to roll all over the floor.

"But it's funny!" Alice squealed.

"It isn't," I answered, watching Emmett's massive frame sit on Edward's back.

"Oh Bella, it really is!" laughed Alice.

Esme stormed out of the bedroom, "Boys! Time out! Emmett get in the kitchen. Edward you are in the bedroom. You've broken enough today."

Emmett groaned. Edward said, "We're adults, mother."

"Then act like it. Time out! Bella, please hand me the broom and I'll clean up my son's mess."

It had settled down for the time being. I went back to work and heard footsteps coming up the stairs. "Guys, just put the pizza on the counter," I said.

"Hey, Bella." It wasn't the guys back with pizza and beer. I froze, my hands filled with CD cases. I shifted my body to face the voice. The wavy black hair I ran my fingers through. The perfect body I would lay beside every night. I was drawn in by the blue eyes that reminded me of the ocean. Garrett.

"I wasn't going to come. I really was planning on giving you some space." He rushed over to me and dropped on his knees, burying his head into my lap. "But, my baby girl..."

I heard two voices growl in unison. For once, the Cullen boys were in agreement.


	14. Mini Chapter 7

**AN: Enjoy! Let me know if you want more Edward POV's!**

Forks Mini Chapter 7

Sometimes you need to think with your head. The Big One: Edward's Ramblings

There are drawings of me all over school. A picture with me as a cyclops wearing a plaid shirt with a butterfly collar, high water pants and suspenders on a wall next to the boys bathroom. Then there's the portrait of me, wearing a woman's dress my face covered with a bad make up job on the end of a book shelf at the library. The newest and I must say my favorite has to be the one with me dresses like a vampire that has his head cut off. That one is in full color and covering the outside of my locker.

The pretty artist sits outside the principal's office next to her father, scribbling on her shoe. I watch Bella's completely bored face, as she scribbles. I wonder if she's scribbling a picture of me, not that stupid Jacob Black. I don't care what horrible death she draws me in, because at least she thinks of me.

I refuse to say I am stalking her, but since she refuses to speak to me, it's as close as I can get. So here I stand hidden outside the door to the main office trying to hear what's going on, because Bella's business is mine.

The principal wanders out. I see him address with a smile Charlie Swan, but as the Swan family does best, the Chief looks at him like he's a gnat that should be squashed.

"Why am I here, Mark? You tellin' me my girl is causing trouble round here?" Chief Swan speaks slowly, as if talking to a moron.

Principal Banner tried to puff out his chest. "Listen, Charlie..."

"It's Chief Swan to you," Bella chimes in, still scribbling away on that shoe. God, that girl is so bad ass. I want to kiss her.

"You need to watch what you say right now, Miss Swan." Principal Banner tries to admonish her.

"Are you threatening my kid, Mark?" The Chief growled. I guess that's where Bella gets it from.

"Of course not, Char...Chief," Principal Banner flounders. "It was brought my attention that your daughter is vandalizing the school."

Bella sighed as she switched markers and continued marking her shoes. "Rosalie is a horrible person. She should be expelled for being mean. You can't prove anything."

"I think that sounds reasonable, kiddo. Can you prove that my girl is the culprit? I need you to think long and hard, Mark. I have eyes and ears all over this town. I wouldn't forget that if I was you."

Bella's dad was threatening the principal. I think. Then Bella starts to giggle in that beautiful way, until she snorts. It's a beautiful snort.

"What are you doing?" A loud lisp rings out behind me, covering me with spit.

I stick my hand over Jasper's mouth. "Quiet! I am trying to listen to Bella. Can you please take that retainer out? I have your spit all over me."

"You need to stop spying on Bella." He's too loud. I elbowed him. "I am keepin' the retainer in, man. Rosie keeps stealin' it."

"Well that devil sister of yours is trying to get Bella suspended or even worse expelled!" I exclaimed, then I realized how loud I was I covered my own mouth.

"Maybe, you and Emmett should go talk to my sister about it then, because obviously y'all care to hang out with her mean ass then with the rest of us. Why do you even care what happens to Bella? I thought you're with Lauren?"

"I am not with Lauren. Bella is the only one I want." I was pissed.

So was Jasper. "Really, because it seems that you are too busy with Lauren getting' frisky in the various closets to care about Bella."

"I really don't want to, but Lauren doesn't take no for an answer and then I picture Bella…"

"That's your excuse? What happened to you to make you such a fuck up?" Jasper glared at me. Jasper never curses and I was in shock. "I hope Bella kicks your ass. I'm glad she's goin' to prom with Jacob."

"You hate that jerk as much as I do!" I tried to yell quietly. It didn't work that well, because I noticed Bella had looked up at the doorway we stood by.

"I normally do, but unlike you, he's treatin' that girl in there right. Bella's not only Alice and Angela's friend, but mine too. I support my friends when somebody is doin' them wrong. Which means you, buddy!"

I was about to protest when Bella and Chief Swan came out of the main office. Bella's dad rubbed his mustache slowly. "Is there a problem here, gentlemen?"

"No, sir!" We both squeaked out in unison.

"Keep it that way, boys. Kid, I'll see you at home. Keep the pictures at a minimum today." Chief Swan ruffled Bella's gorgeous hair.

"I can't promise, Dad, I'm feeling inspired," Bella proclaimed as she glared at me.

Jasper flashed the Chief a big smile. "Chief, don't worry I'll keep an eye on your lil' lady. Miss Swan, may I accompany you to lunch?"

I barely hold in a growl, as Jasper holds out his arm to Bella. He smirks at me. I know he doesn't want Bella in that way, but it should me holding her arm, not him.

"Let's go gallant knight!" Bella flashed a beaming smile at him.

I felt sick.

"Hey Edward, if you change your mind and want to be with your real friends, we will be at our usual table." Jasper leads Bella down the hallway and I hear him as he says, "Are we still on to share the limo for prom? Alice said Jacob could…"

Really sick.


	15. Chapter 8

**AN: For all the readers of this silly story all my thanks. Your reviews are like gold to me.**

**I have a link to the FORKS banner up on the profile. Also a new Daily Affirmations. Also, I have a new story coming out today called The Little Pink House. It would be wonderful if you could check it up and let me know what you think. It will be up on my profile.**

Chapter 8: TIGHTEN UP (The Black Keys)

I couldn't say a word. Garret was here in Forks and completely not respecting my boundaries. I just looked down at Garrett's head buried in my lap. If it was last year, I would love this. Right now, I just stared down at his hair. Edward must have known I was unable to move. He rushed over and pulled Garrett away from my body. Edward then grabbed me and wrapped his arms around me. He looked at Garrett and snarled, "You don't get to touch her!"

I looked up into Garrett's blue eyes, "You."

"Me." Garrett smiled. "Are you going to throw me out?"

"Yes."

"Just hear me out. I can't leave until you listen to my side of it."

I pulled myself closer to Edward instinctively. I chose the lesser of two evils. Garrett stuck his hands into his olive cargo pants, artfully splattered with paint. He was wearing an old Sonic Youth t-shirt that I loved. Part of me wanted to rip it off with my teeth. Just like I did to his Smashing Pumpkin shirt outside of the El Diab…

"I think you need to leave now," Edward said, tightening his grip on me. He smelled really good. Like the forest. _Focus. Too many stupid, evil, pretty boys..._

Garrett smirked at Edward and stated, "You're Bella's new boyfriend, kid?"

"Who are you calling a kid? Are you kidding me, Dali? It's Dr. Cullen to you. Learn it, breathe it, know it by heart," Edward replied.

"Ha! You're a doctor? Are you delusional much, kid? What are you like sixteen? Grab me a beer, Skippy." Garrett gave me a wink. I missed those, but I hate them too.

Emmett came out of the kitchen and pointed at Garrett. "Hey man, are you here to deliver my pizza? You better not have forgotten my cheesy bread. Ed, thanks for taking care of my girl."

Emmett pulled me from Edward then slung an arm over my shoulder and kissed the top of my head. Edward stood there with steam coming out of his ears. It was funny.

"She just moved here. There is no way that she is with either of you," Garrett said, his eyes narrowing.

"It's true love, man. It happens quickly. Don't you watch movies? You look like the musical type to me." Emmett laughed.

"Yeah, he does. I bet he does jazz hands," added Edward. I was surprised by his sass.

Emmett turned to look at his brother. "Jazz hands? Talk about musical lovers. Nerd, you are the worst. "

"Shut up, Emmett," snarled Edward.

I interrupted them, "You need to leave, Garrett."

"Bells?" A feminine voice called out, coming up the stairs. A pretty, curvy blond-haired girl came into the doorway. _Kate!_ She ran over to me, her straight hair swinging and pulled me into a huge hug, while she hip checked Emmett out of the way. He looked confused by her strength.

"Katie!" I squealed and grabbed my other best friend. I heard an angry little squeak behind me. Alice glared at Kate, her hands on her hips. I had momentarily forgotten how much Alice disliked her and the fact that, like today, Katie loved to sport camouflage cargo pants. Alice stomped to the bedroom to find her mother. I looked at Kate, "What are you doing here, you crazy bitch?"

"Come on now, my little nut, I missed you. I was tired of the big city and need to smell…What is it? Manure? Damn, it reminds me of that trip to Amish Country we took. Remember laughing at all those cows and horrible drivers doing it PA style? Now I realized after seeing this place it must of felt like home, sweet, home. Laurent thought this was a bad idea, but he always hates places without gangs."

"Laurent's here, too?" I asked.

"He's downstairs in the car. He wasn't going to come up unless you were okay with this." Kate shrugged. "Honestly, I think being in a small town without a Starbucks scares him."

"I really want to see him." I adored that guy. He was nuttier than a fruitcake and full of fun.

"Go get him, Garrett," Kate demanded without looking at him. "You've caused enough problems today. Girl, I am so sorry he's here. I tried to tell him this was his stupidest idea ever."

Garrett stomped downstairs. I stared at his retreating figure and took a deep breath. I looked at Kate. "I'm not going back to Maryland."

"I gathered that by all your stuff being gone. I will kick your ass if the reason you ran was because of his stupid ass," Kate said with a frown. Kate must have forgotten that when love goes wrong, Bella Swan always runs for the door.

I heard Emmett whisper to Edward, "I think I like that one. You see Bella's butch friend over there. She seems feisty. Do you think they ever make out? That would be so hot!"

Esme came out of the bedroom with Alice and went over to introduce herself to Kate. I heard voices on the staircase. "Haven't you done enough to her, man? Just leave her alone."

"I think she still loves me, if I just…" Garrett began as he approached the door, but he was promptly pushed out of the way.

"Hey Bella! Missed you, little girl. Give Papa some sugar!" Laurent gave me a large hug. He wore his signature dark orange floral polo shirt, flair jeans and flip flops. His hair remained the most impressive set of dreads in Baltimore.

"Hey there, hot stuff. These two yahoos forced you to fly out here?" I asked after giving him a peck on his cheek.

Laurent just shrugged and gave me his winning smile. I missed him and his flamboyant style. I missed Kate and her girl power rants. Hell, I even missed the Garrett who I thought was mine alone. These people were my lifeline when I moved east for school. Baltimore is a big, tough city for a small town girl to navigate. I watched Homicide and The Wire on TV, so the move made me a tad nervous. With their help, I found the rhythm of the city. The excitement of discovering little treasures, whether it be local restaurant or a lovely park to have a picnic. The discordant sounds of street festivals and busy downtown traffic jams became the soundtrack to our days together. It was a place that I could shed the flannels and become me, not the delicate klutz of Forks.

We had studied together at the Art Institute and moved in a row house the following year. We were inseparable from the beginning. Garrett and I paired off. Kate and Laurent were best friends. It worked for us. Kate and Garrett would create sculptures in the dining room. I would draw subversive comics in the study, while Laurent would put on performance art shows in the dining room. Art was our lives and we lived it fully.

It was an easy, happy time with my friends. I remember heading to the CITY CAFÉ together for breakfast to try to rid ourselves the hangovers from the night before. Eating hard shell crabs in the backyard and Garrett licking the Old Bay seasoning off my fingers. Drinking Natty Boh and listening to Garrett and Laurent's band playing at dive bars in Fell's Point. How Laurent would convince prospective students that he was Jamaican royalty, even though he was actually from New Jersey.

These were the memories I wanted to keep. The ones I cherished, but unfortunately I couldn't remove the image of Garrett in our bed with that red-headed harlot, Victoria. I was dismissed from design class early and ran upstairs to the bedroom I shared with Garrett. I just wanted to grab a book and take it out to our small backyard and lay in the hammock. Instead, I found the two of them twisted like a pretzel.

I glared at Garrett. Laurent looked down at me and whispered, "I'll drag them back to B-More. Just give me the word, little girl. I'll drag you too, if you'd like."

I gave him a big hug, "You can stay. Actually, you and Katie may both stay as long as you would like."

Alice chimed in loudly, "So Kate, how long are planning on staying in Forks?"

"Well Alice, you see, I need a change of pace. I just got a position at Forks Community College in the art department," Kate replied. I thought this was only a visit, but I suddenly became excited about the possibility of having my favorite riot girl at my side. I was about to congratulate her when I looked at Alice's face. She was livid.

Wait if she was staying... I suddenly had a sinking feeling in my stomach, "What about Garrett, Kate?"

"You can ask me yourself, Bella," Garrett replied.

"Katie?" I asked, refusing to look at Garrett.

"Honey, he got a job here too. At the high school, because he's a stupid bitch" Kate said sadly. "Want to prey on the coeds, asshole?"

Garrett glared at Kate and I focused my gaze elsewhere. I looked over at Edward; he was gripping the back of a chair looking furious. Emmett laughed and hit Garrett hard on the back exclaiming, "Great. I love new neighbors. As long as you stay away from my pretty lady we are going to get along great."

We heard voices coming up the stairs. My father hobbled in on his crutches and ran right smack into Garrett. Charlie's face turned various shades of red and he shouted, "I need my shotgun!"

Carlisle tossed pizza boxes to Esme and grabbed Charlie's arm. "Calm down, Charlie."

"The hell I will, Carlisle! Get out of Bella's apartment, dirtball. Do you even know how you made her cry? I do, you goddamn, son of a bitch!" Charlie was using his crutches to whack Garrett soundly on his head. Jasper and Carlisle had to physically pull Charlie over to the couch, his crutches flying through the air.

"Dad, please stay down. You are going to hurt yourself even more!" I yelled at my furious father.

Garrett started to say, "Mr. Swan. I know I handled things wrong. You have to give me credit for coming out here to try to woo my girl back. I think I can make this up to Bella if…"

My father let out an inhuman growl and attempted to rise with his crutches with Jasper holding him down. Then a lilting voice said, "Excuse me. I'm looking for Edward."

Everyone stopped and looked at the doorway. A beautiful strawberry blond stood there, with perfect hair, a perfect cream colored suit and a perfect pair of matching shoes. A bunch of stupid perfect things all bunched together. I wanted to gag. I looked down at my dirty sneakers, they were definitely not perfect. Then she opened her mouth again, "Edward, baby. I saw your car outside. Shouldn't you be waiting for me at your house?"

_Tanya. _This was not cool. She was in my apartment. _I will not show him that I am upset._ Obviously, my face betrayed me and Emmett swung me over his shoulder, "I am stealing Sweet Cheeks for a little bit. I have a feeling Mommy and Alice can handle this. Monkey needs some fresh air."

Edward protested, "I'll take her!"

Tanya looked at him in shock. I realized he hadn't even greeted her yet. She grabbed his arm and whined, "Baby..."

"You have things to handle here, little brother. Let me take care of Bella. You can't do anything until you fix this," Emmett said, pointing to Tanya. He then looked at Garrett, "I expect you to be gone."

Emmett adjusted me on his shoulders and we headed down the stairs. _My hero._


	16. Forks Mini Chapter 8

**AN: More Edward times…**

**Let me know what you think!**

Forks Mini Chapter 8

Chocolate Eyes and Two Left Feet: Another Edward POV

The room was covered in all of those twinkling lights that my mom decorates the house with for Christmas. Bella stood under them her and her hair looked like there were thousands of stars nestled between the strands. I was drawn to the way the navy dress that Alice had picked for her, clung to her body. Then I had to smile how she had drawn on the bottom of it with a silver pen. Images of dancing monkeys in prom dresses mixed with phrases like 'Followers' and 'Rosalie, Queen of the Monkeys'. I was in love with an artistic genius.

I sat at Rosalie's table and stared at the beautiful sight of Bella. She was pushing her finger into that jerk, Jacob's chest her face flushed with anger. I didn't know what happened, but I wanted to help my girl. I stood from the table in anger. Rosalie barked, "You need to sit down, Eddie. Lauren can you take him somewhere and distract him. He's killing my buzz."

Rosalie was wasted. Emmett looked unhappy and uncomfortable. I was being accosted by the idiotic duo, Lauren and Jessica. I glared at the two girls who tried to pull me down into my seat. "Will you please unhand me, Jessica? Lauren, go away!"

"Edward Cullen, you're my date!" Lauren snarled her overdone makeup made her look like a clown.

"I am not!" I heard a loud yell and saw Bella kneeing Jacob in the groin. "I have to go!"

"Don't you dare go over to the Lumberjack! I want you to sit your ass down!" Rosalie snarled as she glared at me with her glassy and unfocused eyes.

"Let him help Bella. You need to chill!" Emmett took Rosalie's hand to stop her from coming after me. "Get that jerk away from our girl."

I rushed over to a triumphant looking Bella and a whimpering Jacob. I exclaimed, "Sweetheart, umm Bella, are you okay?"

"He got too touchy. I don't do touchy." Bella poked Jacob with her foot. "Breathe in and breathe out, Black. You'll be fine. I think you need to call Billy to pick you up."

"I'm...I'm...tell...tell...telling...on...you!" Jacob wheezed. It made my night.

"I'm telling you to keep your mouth shut. You will be telling your dad you feel sick or I will be telling our fathers that you grabbed my boob. Please remember, Charlie has a gun." She turned to me, before I could punch Jacob in the nose. "Your assistance isn't required here, Cullen. Bye-bye."

"Dance with me, Bella," I pleaded.

"I don't dance," she stated simply. "Go back to Lauren. I hear she's giving out free crabs today. You should line right up, buddy!"

I pulled out the big guns. "It will drive them crazy if you dance with me."

"Drive who crazy?"

"Rosalie and her friends. It would make them livid." I wasn't playing fair, but I wanted my hands on this beautiful girl.

"You play dirty, Cullen." Bella sighed and grabbed my hand. "Fine, let's get this over it."

We went out to the dance floor and I pulled her close. I whispered, "You look so lovely."

"What are you playing at, Cullen?" Her eyes bore into me.

"I really like you, Bella."

She glared at me. "Great way trying to show me that. I have seen you too many times with Lauren, Edward."

"I am a stupid boy, Bella." I tried to find a way to explain what I did, but I knew no answer would suffice. "I never kissed her."

"That makes things better? I bet you are going to say something sappy to explain why you've never kissed her."

"Lauren will never be you. You are the only girl I want my lips to touch." That's when I kissed her slowly and was surprised when she pressed against me.

As I reveled in the joy of being close to her, I couldn't help wondering if this was the beginning of our future or another false start.


	17. Chapter 9

**AN: I hope you like these new chapters! Let me know what you think!**

**Thank you!**

Chapter 9: LONG WAY DOWN (Pete Yorn)

Emmett whisked me down the stairs and headed straight to a large Hummer. It was a huge machine and dwarfed every other car parked in the street. "Emmett, why didn't you drive over with everybody else?"

"Honestly, girl. Do you think I can fit in that sardine can over there?" He questioned, nodding towards Edward's Volvo.

"I guess that's true," I answered as he sat me in the passenger seat. Emmett came around and sat in the driver's seat and put the key into the ignition. It was one tricked out vehicle. It had all the bells and whistles: navigation, leather seats, and full sound system… _Oww! My ears!_

The noise blasted from that sound system was some very loud Ludacris at full volume. Emmett quickly turned down the stereo, "Sorry, Monkey, you know how I like to bounce."

"Don't worry about it, Em, I'll just need a hearing aid sooner than I thought. So…what is up with this Bella rescue mission?"

"You need food."

"I seem to recall pizza arriving recently."

"I need even more food! I'm a big man! To tell the truth, the need for food is only part of the escape. The real truth about why you are here with the big Poppa is I wanted to get you away from Tweedle Nerd and Tweedle Dirtball," Emmett admitted.

"That's cute. Using Alice in Wonderland characters like that."

"I wasn't talking about my sister Alice? Why would I do that?" Emmett was confused.

"I meant the books. Don't stress your brain about it. The reason for the escape was to get me away from them?"

"Well babe, my little brother has it bad for you. He needs to figure shit out first. He can't commit to you until he stops all this Tanya drama." Emmett pulled into the Fork's Diner parking lot.

"He really likes me? You see I doubt this for many reasons. I know for a fact that he just wants a quickie in the back of his car. Edward's done it before and he'll do it again," I stated with certainty.

"You had sex with my brother? Was it in high school? You should give me details. Dirty and explicit details and draw some pictures! I think I have a pen and a napkin in here somewhere." Emmett looked giddy.

I pushed his shoulder hard. "I didn't have sex with Edward, you big oaf! We made out a couple times before he decided to get horizontal with skanky Lauren."

"I heard that it was more of a one sided vertical situation. She certainly got zero out of it, if that helps. I heard he was screaming your name instead of hers. That must be somewhat cool."

"No it isn't really cool, Emmett Cullen. You are really not helping the situation right now." I glared at him with my best thunder face.

"You really need to use your head, girl. Not worry about Edward's little head that he used back then. He's changed for the better, I think. I am pretty sure he might even love you. Everyone sees it." Then he added, "I see another problem other than my clueless brother. You have hipster hanging around now. We need to get rid of him and the way you look when he's around. It's like you want to mount the dude. He couldn't have been that good. If only Charlie killed him with those crutches."

"That's not cool, Emmett. My father can barely stand, so murder is out." I then realized what else he said. "I do not want to mount anyone, Emmett! You need to stop being so crass!"

"I am just stating the truth, woman. You are the one that is still making weird eyes at the guy."

"So these are the reasons for helping me escape? I am a little confused, Emmett. The way you've been acting with me would make me think you wanted to be more then friends. Which is flattering, but…" I began.

"Don't get me wrong, little one. If there was no Rose and you weren't still salivating over two losers, we would hit it right now in the large backseat of the Hummer. I like you too much to do it that way, and I think you want a big brother, not all this massive man meat." Emmett grabbed my face and gave me a rough kiss. It was nice, but just not the firework variety. "You see Bella? You just refused to let my tongue go in your mouth. I would totally hit that, meaning you, but you will have no part of it. I will try not to be saddened by your rejection, Monkey."

"Then thank you, dear sir, for being the big brother I guess I needed."

Emmett smiled and ruffled my hair, "Don't tell Alice, but I think we are even closer than you two are! That tiny thing will kill me in my sleep. She's a crazy person. Now here's what we are going to do. We are going to sit in that diner and figure something out. Be all sneaky and shit like the A-Team. I really think we can get them back."

We sat across from each other, Emmett and I. We had two plates of French Fries between us. Emmett called it his "thinking" food. I think both plates were actually for him. I sipped on my soda. "So what happened to you and Rosalie? She had always been a massive and evil bitch. You always let it slide. I spent most of high school pissed at you for that."

"I understand why you would be pissed, Monkey. I thought there had to be some good in her. Some little speck of kindness, I would be able to dig out of her. I knew in the bedroom, she would show her sensitive side to me! The stuff that girl can do with her tongue. Rosie would take my coc…"

"Emmett! That would be slutty and not sensitive. Plus let's cut back on the details. You are giving me fodder for some horrible nightmares."

"Monkey, she would just open her mouth…"

"Stop it right now, Mr. Too Much Info! When did it go bad or I should say worse than usual?"

"Right," he smiled sheepishly, stuffing a fry in his mouth. "You don't want to hear the sex stuff. You are missing out, girl! Well Rosie started complaining that I didn't do anything for her. Then I would complain that she was meaner than a snake. She wanted a fancy dinner, so I took her to the Fork's Lodge. Two steaks for the price of one! But she wanted dinner in Port Angeles. I told her start being nice to people and I would take her to places outside of town. Then I supposedly didn't get her flowers, but every week I went to the grocery store and got her the fluffy ones. What are they called?"

"I think you mean carnations?" I guessed. I started to see Rosalie's issues, but then I thought she deserved worse.

"That's the ones! But she wanted presents, too! I got her a set of barbells. I mean she wants to stay hot, right? I told her she could work on her bad attitude with exercise. Plus, I got them for 20% off at work. But no, she hit me with one of them! It gave me a headache. The next thing I knew, she was with this Roy, dude."

"You mean Royce?"

"Whatever. He was taking her to Seattle and buying her diamonds. It's about more than flowers, gifts and my large package. It's about the love. Which, I might have been wrong. She actually has no ability to have that emotion," Emmett said sadly. He wasn't a poet, but he sure was sweet.

"I wish I knew what to do to help, but I say good riddance to bad and overly processed rubbish!" I gave him a reassuring smile and grabbed onto his hands.

He looked at me closely, "Let's fake it, Monkey!"

"What?"

"Be my fake girlfriend, Isabella Swan! Eddie will be so jealous, he'll kidnap you. Rosie will develop a heart through her jealousy. Maybe, she'll become a good person!"

"Actually, I will be dead. Rosalie is going to kill me."

"Aww, Bella. I won't let her. I promise."

"I've seen her in action. I don't have that much faith."

"Trust me, woman. I won't steer us wrong." He tossed a handful of fries into his mouth.

We headed back into my apartment after an hour. Our plan was ready to be set into action. Emmett was bouncing in excitement into the room. Everyone was working silently.

"What's going on? It's quiet in here!" boomed Emmett.

"Where's Garrett?" I asked. Part of me was glad he was gone, another part sad and the largest part wondering if my dad committed homicide by crutches.

Jasper came up and said, "Ya daddy, * mumble, mumble *."

"Enunciate, Jasper," I demanded.

"Your daddy pulled out a gun on him."

"Dad, what the hell!" I exclaimed.

"Old Anne, came out to play. That sure got him out of here fast!" My dad said gleefully.

"Don't worry, Bella," Carlisle said calmly. "We made sure your father didn't shoot the boy."

Edward started to grab my hand, "Bella…"

Tanya pushed him out of the way, tossed her beautiful hair and asked, "Are you finished with Edward? I would love him all to myself. You really didn't need him here, did you? This place is so very tiny…"

I took a good look at Charlie's crutches. I wondered if I could borrow them for a moment.

Emmett put his hands on my shoulders and started rubbing them. _Ouch._ He said, "Go ahead. I have it covered here with my lady. Little brother, you need to take care of things with somebody."

Emmett then placed his teeth on my ear and nibbled. That hurt.

Edward was furious, "Get off her. You better treat her with respect!"

Tanya placed her hand on Edward's groin, "Baby, let's get out of here. I feel dirty after the long trip. I want you to wash me off."

"Wait a minute, Tanya." He stared at me and patted her head. She kissed his neck.

Oh no, she didn't! I saw red and then black. She was going to be doing things to him that I wished I could be doing to him. At that moment, I hated that girl who was going home with him. I also hated Edward for patting her head. Memories of Edward and Lauren Malloy flooded my brain. I turned to Emmett. "You are such a great helper. I appreciate you, so very much, Emmett."

I looked over to Edward and then back to Emmett. I looked into his eyes and pushed my mouth to Emmett's, ramming my tongue in his mouth. Emmett pulled me closer and I realized I couldn't breathe. The bear was crushing me. I stepped on his foot.

Emmett stepped back and laughed, then leaned in again, "Want to try that again, you frisky thing?"

"No," I whispered. "Go hang up some pictures or something."

I looked at Edward; his mouth was hanging open, Tanya pulling him towards the door. Everyone else was in shock, except Charlie. He let out a whoop and exclaimed, "Praise Jesus! Finally, the girl has a boyfriend to watch football with. I haven't had that since Jake! Thank you Bells, you've made your old man so proud."

"Hilarious! I love this! You two are nuts!" Alice said, jumping up and down like a bunny. _Wait. Does she know? _

Kate looked at Laurent, "What just happened here? I think they might all be fucking crazy. I am including Bella in this observation."

Laurent looked at Kate and bobbed his head, dreads flying. "No doubt about it, Katie, no doubt."


	18. Chapter Mini Chapter 9

**AN: One more today! I really enjoyed writing this one! Please review. Thank you!**

Forks Mini Chapter 9

The Day in the Life of Fork's Finest Cop: Charlie Swan's POV

I stood looking at the toaster waiting for the toast to pop out, while I listened to the banging and screaming upstairs. It sounded like a picture frame or maybe a vase just hit the floor. That stupid toast was taking too damn long.

"Stupid, stupid jerk is a son of a bi..." My kid was screaming, which changed to a high pitch cry.

I went to the fridge and pulled out a beer and the apple sauce. It had been a long day. Mrs. Webber's favorite cat was missing. A kid lost a retainer in a dumpster and got stuck when; he tried to fish it out. Then Billy pulled out of our fishing trip this weekend. All I wanted to do was come home to a nice dinner and drink a couple of beers; instead I have to listen to a screaming teenager.

I slowly trudged towards the staircase. I called out, "Bells, would you... umm... Like...a...peanut butter sandwich?"

"You can take that peanut butter sandwich and stick it up Edward Cullen's dirty ass!"

Oh boy.

"Kid, why don't you come down here and...Uh...we can talk about it." I really, really didn't want to do this.

Bella poked her head out of her room. Her eyes were bloodshot and I first thought she was drunk. I questioned her like she was a perp, "If you're drunk, I'm gonna have to take you downtown."

"Are you serious, old man? I've been crying in here! Why don't you have another Vitamin D or whatever that crap beer you drink is called and leave me alone?" She slammed the door, which shook the house.

Crying, huh, why didn't I think of that?

I slowly went up the stairs not knowing what to expect. I was less afraid of violent criminals then my own child right now.

I knocked on the door. "Bells, what...happened?"

"Edward Cullen happened!"

I sighed. "You want me to shoot him?"

"Multiple times, in areas that are very painful and will make him scream like the girl he is." Something banged into the wall.

"Bells, what the hell was that?"

"It was stupid mix CD that Ed made. It's now twenty pieces of broken pieces. It's all classical shit! What boy spends his day listening to Clair De Lune or whatever that snooze fest is called? A gigantic dork who is a lying creep, that's who!"

I couldn't help, but chuckle.

Bella continued, her voice hoarse from her yells, "What's wrong with me, Dad? Why would he make out with me at the dance and get oral from Lauren today in the boy's bathroom?"

I felt bile rise into my throat. "Why would they be taking an oral exam in a bathroom?"

"Oral sex, Dad, not an oral exam," Bella explained and I felt my ears bleeding.

"You didn't do that with that boy, did you?" Oh god, I will start living a righteous life, give up that wicked beer and start going to Reverend Webber's five hour prayer services if she just says no.

"No." Oh god, I promise to start this good behavior next month. Maybe.

"That's my good girl, I..."

"I just let him feel me up." Oh God...never mind.

I buried my face in my hands. "What about Jake? He was supposed to watch after you!"

"Oh, he watched me alright. So closely, in fact, that the asshole was grabbing my boob."

Jacob Black was a dead man. Edward Cullen was a dead man.

"Bells, you want a pizza? I think I might run out and get one."

I heard a little laugh behind the door. "As long as you get a side of, throw Edward in jail and torture him."

"I was thinking of adding a topping of make Jacob cry, while I'm at it."

"I love you, Daddy."

"I love you, too."


	19. Chapter 10

**AN: I like to call this the little fic that could. It was driving me crazy all weekend. It might not be getting the reviews or recognition the others have, but I still love it.**

**Anyway, thank you so much for reading and reviewing. The mini chapter is up next.**

Chapter 10: DON'T YOU EVAH (Spoon)

Edward and Tanya left soon after I attacked Emmett with my tongue. This was my big problem; I don't think things through when I'm angry. There could have been a more subtle way to show Edward that I was dating Emmett. To be exact, that I was fake dating the big oaf. The way I played this game probably backfired on me and instead of ending Edward and Tanya's relationship it heated it up.

The rest of the afternoon everyone worked quietly, while I was berating myself in my head and wishing that everyone would leave. Alice came to me and wrapped her arms around me. She whispered, "Edward's still ending it today, you know. He'll fight for you."

"I'm with Emmett. It doesn't matter," I replied sullenly.

"Keep telling everyone that and see if people start believing you. You looked like you wanted to vomit after Emmett kissed you." Alice kissed me on the head.

"Your brother's mouth reeks of pickle and onions. Honestly, anyone would retch after tasting that mixture." I winked at her.

As evening approached, everyone slowly began to filter out to head home. Esme and Carlisle helped collect a sleepy Charlie to drive him home. Esme hugged me close and whispered in my ear, "I love Emmett, but I love you, too. Please make sure this is what you want. I don't want you to get hurt."

"Son," Charlie, announced with a beaming smile grabbed Emmett's hand, "Catch the game with me tomorrow?"

It was as if the son he always wanted was dropped down from heaven and into his lap. Charlie was so happy it was scary.

Emmett smiled, "Yes, sir. That'll be fine."

Emmett was the last one left. I looked at him and smiled, "Heading out too, big man?"

He plopped down on the couch and put his feet up, "Didn't you know? You're having a slumber party tonight with the big cheese."

"Emmett…no, Edward is already pissed. I don't…"

"Monkey, Nerd's surprised, not pissed. He's just going to figure out a plan of attack to win you back. I am just giving him a push to figure one out faster. Also, this information will probably leak to Rose. She'll soon be grabbing my dick and whispering, 'Baby, I will be a nice girl…"

"Em, you are delusional in so many ways. So many in fact, that I lost count."

"Fine, see my positivity as delusional! My point is about sex makes a lot of sense! Not really, but… no sex…no…it is! Nerd is thinking that you are all mad and I am going to use that to get laid. Then Rose will hear about it through the Fork's gossip patrol at the beauty shop. Stop with the mean faces, Monkey. We aren't really going to be having sex tonight. Unless, you want…forget I said anything, if the idea makes you scowl so much. Rose just will want to kill anyone I'm with. Then I will be all, 'No, baby, stop and be a good person.' Then she will be a good person! It's on, Swan." I saw many flaws in his logic. He rubbed his head in thought and continued his nonsensical tirade, "I can see Ed either running over here to save your virtue, or crying and standing in front of the mirror, sticking on some eyeliner while listening to The Cure. It will be probably be The Cure. Silly bastard," he laughed.

"You do realize that whole monologue of crazy you just spouted made no sense?" I walked over to the fridge, pulled out a beer and took a swig. "So you think Edward is really ending things with that woman tonight?"

"Damn girl, get your fake man one of those!" I grabbed another beer out of the fridge and handed it to him, then sat next to him on the couch. "Thank you, Miss Swan. Now to answer your question, yes I do think he will end it. Tanya will get on her knees to try and change his mind. He'll say no, because it's not nice to get head during a breakup. Actually, he'll say no, due to the fact that he'd rather see your sweet little face there."

"You are a disgusting, asshole."

"You know you like that idea, little girl." Emmett flashed his dimples at me.

I laid my head on his shoulder, "How does he even know that you're here?"

"Alice is on it. I pulled her into the kitchen when you were chatting with the Jamaican dude and the sexy blonde. I have some questions about that one."

"I'm guessing you meant Kate, not the 'Jamaican dude'." I smiled when he shook his head in affirmative with a wink.

Emmett stretched and asked as he rubbed his stomach, "Is Kate a single lady?"

"Yes, she's much better for you than Rose. How about we forget about your lame attempt to get back together with that shrew and hook you up with Katie instead. She's also bisexual, so you might want to find your inner chick."

"Good god, woman, put a fork in me, because I'm done. Have you two ever made-out? That would be so hot!" Emmett started to laugh, but his face got serious in thought. "Let's just see if my plan works before you start to pimp me out to your friends. She does look like a girl who knows her way around the bedroom, however."

I whacked him on the head, as he wiggled his eyebrows at me. "Don't say that! I want you to love her for her mind!"

"I am a simple man, with simple desires. Mostly, I desire to know if the new blonde one wants you to join in," he said with a smirk.

"You're simple, alright, also disgusting,"

"You love it! Give me a piece of pizza, wench!"

The rest of the night continued with jokes, schemes, and Emmett's mouth that cleaned out my fridge of leftover pizza. I liked having him around. It was comfortable, until bedtime. He tried to offer me his services as a body pillow. Emmett remained on the couch.

The next morning, light poured through the curtains into my bedroom. I woke up disoriented and wondered where I was. It took me a minute to determine that I was in fact in my new apartment and not my tiny bedroom in Baltimore. I stretched and began to get up when there was a loud knock at the door. Emmett announced, "You stay there, Bella. I got this."

I had forgotten he was still at the apartment.

A question immediately flooded my brain. _Was it Edward?_ I was part hopeful and part nervous. I got up and pulled a robe over my pajamas. Then I heard it, "Izzy? Where are you? I'll save you from this beast!"

Mike Newton was here? Damn. I would never get away from that guy?

Emmett said casually to Mike, "Time to leave, kid. Nobody wants you here. I haven't had a cup of Joe, yet. It makes a dude cranky."

"You violated this precious flower! You and your nasty brother are trying to destroy her virtue!" Mike sputtered angrily.

I walked into the room. "Morning Michael, It's time to go. Thanks for the visit, but Em and I need to figure out what to have for breakfast."

"Izzy, you're in a robe…" Mike licked his lips. _Gross. _

Emmett looked at Mike with a confused expression. "Damn Mike, that's not her name. It's Bella. Did no one ever tell you?"

I put my arms around Emmett. "Now back to this breakfast question…"

Emmett smiled, enjoying this game. "You on the kitchen table, baby."

"You're a naughty boy." Messing with Mike was oodles of fun.

"Isabella Swan, I do believe you are a slut!" Mike exclaimed. Emmett roared and I let go of him. He rushed towards Mike. Mike gave out a squeal like a little toddler girl. Emmett proceeded to grab Mike and drag him down the stairs.

When Emmett returned a few minutes later, he grabbed my hand and led me to the front window in the living room. He smiled at me, "I took the trash out for you, little girl. I must say, I'm the best fake boyfriend around."

I looked out the window and at the trashcans sitting outside on the curb. One of the trash cans had two legs coming out of the top, wiggling frantically. I smiled.

You have got to love that Emmett Cullen.

Emmett left soon after to deal with Edward. He promised to call or stop by with the details before he headed to Charlie's house. They were going to watch the baseball game together. Knowing Charlie, he had already had the pizza and Buffalo wings ordered, with the beer that had been chilled in the fridge. The son he never had was coming over. Poor Charlie was going to be heartbroken when this dating charade ended. I would have to make it up to Charlie at some point. That meant I was going to have to go fishing. I hate worms and fish guts. This was not going to be pleasurable.

I spent the rest of my morning organizing and reading, but not putting much effort into either. I decided I was hungry and went over to the fridge. There was a lonely bottle of seltzer. Emmett cleaned out the fridge. I decided a trip to the grocery store was in order. I was just about to grab my wallet, when the door to my apartment unlocked and Alice appeared. She turned around and reached behind her, grabbing six plastic bags full of wonderful food. I wouldn't have to leave my apartment, my happy place. The question was how did she get a key?

Alice smiled, "Hello there, lovely! I just knew that you would need these. See what a great assistant I am?"

"Is there a reason you have a key to my apartment?"

"I need to take care of you! Your nice landlord made me one! You can get anything you want with a smile. Those are words to live by, Bella. What a nice man!"

Of course, he gave her a key. That leering old coot was probably checking out her bottom the whole time. I was going to have to have a little "chat" with him. I noticed Alice's outfit. Esme was going easy on her. A fitted black tee, dark jeans and sandals completed the outfit that all looked great on her. "You look nice today."

Alice groaned, "Ugh. J. Crew."

"What's wrong with that? I like J. Crew," I said, feeling dissed.

"You just don't know what it takes to be me, Bella. I have designer tastes. I was born that way, it's genetic," Alice said, as she started to put away groceries. "Oh, Edward tried to kill Emmett this morning."

Alice was very nonchalant about this fact.

I asked, "What do you mean 'tried to kill'?"

"Calm down, everybody is just fine. Well except for Edward's pride. That took a nosedive," Alice began, as she put a box of cereal up in a cabinet. Blueberry Clusters. Those were my favorite. Alice was my pint sized fairy godmother. "Emmett came in strutting like a peacock. This gave me an idea for a new shirt for him. That boy needs more color in his life. Anyway, he was all like, 'Nerd, Bella sure looks sexy with bed head. It's like a hot rat's nest.'"

"He didn't!"

"I know! You never say a woman's hair looks like a 'rat's nest'. Didn't Mom and I teach that oaf anything?"

"I mean about spending the night," I said.

"Isn't that what you wanted, Isabella Swan?"

"Well…but…maybe, I did. Except, the murder of your brother is a bit extreme," I stammered. I looked down to notice I was crushing a bag of chips.

"Let me take those before all you're left with is crumbs," She took the chips out of my hands and laid it on the counter. "Let me finish my story while it's still fresh in my mind. So after Emmett called your hair a mean name, Edward let out the most awful noise. It was like a mating screech owl from this DVD of Dad's. That was one fascinating movie."

"Alice, you wanted to finish?" I asked, trying to get her off the subject of Carlisle's family movie selections. My Dad's VHS of Die Hard was looking better and better.

"Right! Edward rushed at Emmett. Then Emmett flung Edward onto the couch. Just like Em was swatting a fly. You have to give Edward points for tenacity, because he got right back up and jumped on Emmett's back. Of course, Emmett flung Edward right back off again. He landed into mom's side table and it broke into pieces."

"Was Edward hurt?" I asked. I was worried. Emmett was in big trouble if one piece of Edward's beautiful bronze hair was out of place. I needed to keep reminding myself that Edward was a jack ass.

"Nah, Edward's pretty tough. He did get a rip in the new shirt I got him. It's Calvin Klein Black Label. I am not happy," Alice said. She went over to the fridge and pulled out a Coke, then plopped down onto a kitchen stool. "Dad ran out and made them sit on the couch to talk it out. I wear 'art' and get punished, while they destroy the house and get to talk. Please tell me how that is even a little bit fair?"

"Poor little baby, maybe next time you'll rethink going to a club naked. Are they okay now?"

"Remind me to thank you for the sympathy, Swan. I was covered by paint, so I was not really naked," she pouted. "To answer your question, the boys seem okay now. Emmett admitted that you two didn't have sex. It took a while for Edward to believe it, but Emmett was pretty forceful about how he respects you and how your friendship to him is important. You can tell he cares for you. You know, in a 'sisterly' way. Edward feels the exact opposite. He's afraid Emmett is going to ravish you at a moment's notice."

"That's right, Edward loves me and shows it by leading me on and then having sex with other girls. I had forgotten. I remember those it portraits I drew of him in high school. I made him look like a zombie eating Lauren's brains. It might have been a tad bit extreme, but the fact that I drew them reminds me that Edward was a jerk. He's a jerk that kissed me and had a girlfriend. Your brother is playing games with me again!"

Alice shook her head. "Edward is head over heels for you. He always has been! He handled things poorly in the past. He was a stupid boy with stupid hormones and he's ready to take responsibility and be a man."

"I'll believe it when I see it. This Tanya business is a prime example that he still has work to do." I said, trying to sound nonchalant. I started to wipe off the counter with a sponge. "What happened with Edward's bed buddy?"

"This is where it gets interesting. She's officially Edward's ex bed buddy. Edward did end things last night with her. Jasper and I were witnesses to make sure she didn't do anything stupid. I mean, Tanya was pissed, and then she started stripping for him. Which come on, Jazz and I were standing right there."

"So it's over?"

"It's absolutely finished. She tried to get him to stay in the same room with her last night, but he told her no way. I made her stay on the couch, so I could keep an eye on her. I didn't trust her to not sneak into Edward's room. Jazz wasn't too happy. He wanted to play Confederate soldier, but I had an important job. My poor boy was feeling so frisky, but I will do anything for you and Edward."

"I feel bad for Tanya, I don't think I could ever like her, but it hurts to lose someone you love," I said.

Alice scoffed, "Bella, don't feel bad for her. That girl only loves her next sexual conquest. Tanya is actually a nymphomaniac. She's been to therapy and everything. Edward is something she believes she owns. Tanya cheated on him before he moved home from Chicago and has been doing it ever since. Don't feel sorry for her! What I want to discuss is this plan with Emmett and how I can help."

I moved to the living room and started straightening a pile of magazines. "I have no idea what you are talking about. I adore Emmett, don't you know? Did that sound convincing?"

"That was a horrible acting job. Edward's going to figure it out sooner than later. I know you want him and I know you are trying to rid yourself of Mr. Tortured Artist. Let me help you!"

I grabbed an apple and started rinsing it in the sink. "Do you really think Edward will figure this out?"

"Yes, because, I said before, you and Emmett are rotten actors. No Shakespeare in the Park for either of you. Plus you can also help me out."

"Help you?" I asked. "You have Jasper and have a happy life. Yeah, Esme is picking out your clothes, but…"

"Not about me, I'm right as rain. We, my lovable friend, are going to double cross Emmett. I refuse to let Rosalie back into Emmett's life. I don't care how much Emmett thinks he can change her." Alice grabbed the apple was about to take a bite of out of my hand. "Rosalie is like this apple. The only difference is that Rosalie is rotten to the core! That girl is a Black Widow and keeps getting Emmett to crawl back into her web. We need to find him a new, real girlfriend fast."

"How do you suggest we accomplish this? He's stuck on Rosalie."

Alice smiled, "Let's put on our thinking caps fast. Tornado Rose is gunning for you."

I sat on the couch next to Alice and asked, "How does she know? This happened yesterday!"

"I saw her at the grocery store talking to Mike Newton. For a guy who supposedly 'loves' you, he sure throws around the words 'dirty whore' a lot. I tried to get away, but she spotted me. She wants to kill you."

I laid my head on Alice's shoulder, "Oh shit. I'll miss you, because I am so dead. Rosalie is going to cut off my head, stick it in a bowling bag and throw it into the ocean at La Push."

"Perhaps," Alice laughed. "Don't plan the funeral, yet. We still have a chance with this new girlfriend angle."

"But is it fair to sic Rosalie on another girl?" I asked.

"We just have to find a girl tougher than Rose."

I looked at Alice, frowning. "This is going to be a challenge."

There was a knock on the door and I jumped.

I cowered behind Alice and said, "It's Rosalie! You can have my CDs and give Edward my…never mind, the jerk gets zilch."

"Calm down. Let me get the door." Alice got up. I grabbed a pillow and covered my head. I heard the door open and Alice said, "Fantastic, it's Dog Breath. Why are you here with a baseball bat?"

"Shut up, Stick. Where's Bells?"

"Jake, is that you?" I asked, my voice muffled by the pillow.

"Bella you can come out. There's a half-naked horn dog at your door," Alice said.

I pulled myself off the couch and walked towards Jacob. "Why do you have a bat?"

"This is to protect you from that idiot, Garrett. Your dad hired me and the boys."

"What boys are you talking about?" I asked. This was going to be a disaster.

Jake puffed out his chest proudly. "My boy, from the res, will protect you! Embry and Jared have been doing extra pushups at the gym."

Alice started clapping her hands behind me, "This is going to be good!"

"They're right downstairs, guarding the front. We are ready to bust some ass!" Jacob exclaimed pumping his arms in the air.

"We have to see this!" Alice squealed, pulling me down the stairs.

Alice and I went down the stairs going to the front of the building, Jacob following behind us. Standing next to the door leading to my office stood Paul and Quil, who leaned against the glass. They held their baseball bats like they were soldiers standing at attention. Alice let out a happy shriek, "They aren't wearing shirts either! Oh my, are you like a gang? Like West Side Story? Who's the rival gang? The boys from Jiffy Lube, because…" I clamped a hand to her mouth.

"Guys, you can go."

Paul rolled his eyes at me. We were never friends. It looked like that hadn't changed. "Charlie is paying us."

"My father is paying you how much exactly?" I asked.

Paul smiled, "Pizza and beer."

"You are pathetic," I said glaring at Paul. Alice giggled. Quil looked at her and gave her his most seductive smile.

"Hi Alice," Quil said, flexing his muscles, "Like what you see?"

"Actually…" Alice began, when Kate walked up to us.

"Hey ladies, why are there half-naked men outside of the building? Not that I mind half-naked men. Hello there, half-naked men."

Quil whispered, "Marry me."

"Kate, let me introduce you to my protectors. Protectors, this is Kate," I said, laughing.

"Well you can't beat muscled bodyguards." Kate gave me a grin. "What are you up to?"

"I'm hanging out with Alice."

"Well run upstairs and grab your purse. I want to check out the town's music store." Kate looked at Alice. "You can come too, Alice. Move your bony ass and get your stuff."

Alice's mouth dropped open and she followed me upstairs quickly. Those two might be friends yet.


	20. Mini Chapter 10

**AN: I love this chapter, I really do. Maybe, I just love Kate and Laurent together. :0)**

**Please enjoy!**

Forks Mini Chapter 10

Art School Confidential: Kate POV

I always hated the first day back to actual classes. High school was tough enough. But even with people like me in a school geared for the arts, nervousness filled me to my core. So far, my higher education experience of going to off campus apartments for drinking was great. Busting some Johns Hopkins frat boy's face for touching my ass near Lexington Market was fantastic. Those premed assholes couldn't keep their hands to themselves. Yet, the first day was always hard. The work didn't scare me, but making new friends was terrifying.

I sat down on a stool in Painting 101. The easel in front of me had my fingers itching to create. However, if I had to hear about the basics of complementary colors again, I will stab the professor's eyes out with this medium sized paint brush. I didn't really notice the large man that sat down next to me, until I saw his fingernails that were colored with light green nail polish.

"I like your nails, mister," I said to the dark skinned man sitting next to me. His hair was in natty dreads and he was decked out in Abercrombie & Finch. This boy was a study in contradictions and I liked it.

The man or boy, I wasn't sure which due to his extremely muscular frame. This was usually a turn on for me, but as I observed his eyes that were slightly tinged with eyeliner, I had to smile. I had a new best gay. What a glorious day. I held out my hand. "I am Kate, fine arts major. I think we are going to be great friends."

"I'm Laurent, Mon. Performance arts department," stated the man with the worst Jamaican accent ever.

I would have been remiss if I didn't point out this fact. "That is the worst accent ever."

"You think it's bad?" The man asked sadly, no accent in sight. Then a mischievous smile graced his face, making his white teeth gleam against his dark skin. "Those pants are revolting."

I liked my cargos. Sure they were two sizes too big, ripped in odd places and covered in paint. It was my style, damn it!

I gave him a smirk. "Of course, a gay man would comment on my pants."

"Oh baby, I'm not gay. I was actually going to try to get in your ugly pants later." He took his hand to brush against my face, but I smacked it away.

"You have got to be kidding me. Shit! What's up with the boy makeup then?"

He laughed at me. "I'm a cross dresser, pretty lady. Some of us love women's clothes on and off the ladies. Then we love trying them on for ourselves."

"I guess you learn something new every day. I'm from Ohio, so not much of that kind of thing there." I was considered the freak in my high school, so meeting others that are exploring the alternative to a cookie cutter life is a revelation.

"Don't fret, my pet. It's the same in Jersey. High school is a bitch. I'm glad to be out of there and I was quarterback of the football team." He then stroked my knee. "After class you want to head to my room. I can put on some R. Kelly and a senior bought me a box of wine..."

I quickly interrupted, "I'm a lesbian!"

"Really? That's very cool." This Laurent guy was a good guy. I felt comfortable around him.

I felt for some odd reason, maybe due to being so comfortable around the guy, to be honest. "At least I might be a lesbian. Maybe, it's just this week. Some days, I like guys and others, girls."

"This would be the place to figure out, Little Girl. I shall be your guide to alternative lifestyles or you can be mine. I am new at this, too." Laurent looked towards the front of the class his eyes widening. "Well look at that pretty, young thing!"

I glanced up to see a beautiful girl walk in, her teeth biting down on her bottom lip. She had a delicate face, but her body was engulfed in a vintage bowling shirt that had the name 'Charlie' stitched on the pocket. Her auburn hair blew around her from floor fan that was perched next to the professor's desk. I could smell strawberries fill the air. It was slightly nauseating, because I hate the damn things. They were little red allergy attacks waiting to happen.

Laurent continued, "Well, we are out of contention for that one, Katie. Garrett's all over her. I have been hearing about that boy's mad skills, since I arrived on campus."

That is when I noticed the beautiful, dark haired boy that followed her, his hand placed gently on her back. She looked up at him and gave a pretty smile, which the boy returned with a wink. "They really are a gorgeous couple."

"They are. I feel like an ugly duckling next to them," Laurent said with a grimace. "Maybe, I should have worn the pink nail polish. It's prettier."

I gave him a reassuring look. "I think the green is quite fetching."

I knew it was okay that the beautiful people were grouping together, because I had this odd, large cross dresser in my life. We would be okay, as long as we were together.

I was pondering this fact when a soft voice asked, "Can we sit with you guys?"

I looked up to see the beautiful couple standing next to us with expectant and nervous looks upon their faces. Maybe, Laurent and I weren't the only ones trying to figure things out. I had a happy revelation that our duo was now a foursome.


End file.
